Manner Monday®: Why do we wear black for funerals?

I recently attended a funeral for the father of a dear friend of mine. We were all visiting, when she said her 8 year old son had a question for me… he asked ‘why are we supposed to wear black for funerals?’ Other than as a sign of respect, I didn’t have the complete ‘why’ to answer his question – and I’m a big fan of knowing the ‘why’ behind social rules and customs. So I reached out to another friend, Stephen Zahn, who is the General Manager for Hahn-Cook/Street & Draper Funeral Directors at Rose Hill Burial Park. Stephen gladly agreed to write a blog post to answer the question in a bit more detail for us.   Thanks Stephen!

Why do we wear black to funerals?

“We mourn in black.” (Shakespeare)

The custom of wearing black funeral attire, or mourning clothes, can be traced back to the Roman Empire. Ancient Greeks and Romans wore black for periods of mourning after the death of a family member, especially for the funeral and procession accompanying the body to the burial site. Ancient Mourners clothes might be worn for up to a year after the death.

Throughout Western History public signs of mourning relied on symbolism, such as black clothing, to indicate a relationship to the deceased. Black mourning clothes were considered a mark of respect, and their absence could be interpreted as disrespect or nonchalance.

IMG_9584 During the Middle Ages and Renaissance, distinctive mourning was worn for the general as well as personal loss. Formal mourning and mourning attire culminated during the reign of Queen Victoria. After the death of her husband, Prince Albert, Victoria wore only black until her own death 42 years later. It was not unusual for the British Court to declare that all citizens should wear full mourning for a specified period after the death of a monarch.

By the 19th Century, mourning behavior in Europe had developed into a complex set of rules, particularly among the upper class. Women bore the greatest burden of these customs. They involved wearing heavy, concealing, black clothing, and the use of heavy veils of black crepe. The entire ensemble was known as widow’s weeds (from the Old English “weed” meaning “garment”.)

For the United States, mourning generally has followed English forms. However, faith in a particular religion plays a major role in whether black or white is worn at a funeral. For example, for the almost 4% of Americans who practice Hinduism or Buddhism, white is the traditional color for funeral attire. White symbolizes purity.

Mourning attire has become less customary since the mid twentieth century. It is still customary, though not as universal, to indicate mourning through somber, semi-formal dress, particularly at the funeral and among the family and close friends of the deceased.

Do you have a ‘manner’ or question you would like to see covered in a post?  Feel free to send me your thoughts, I would love to hear from you. My goal is to help my students to feel more comfortable and confident in the social and professional skills; do you know someone who would enjoy this post?  If so, please share it and encourage them to sign up to receive Manner Monday?  I would appreciate it!

And if you’re new to Manner Monday, I’d love for you to take a minute to learn more about why I started it. You can click here to read my very first post that tells all about it.

Back to School time for Adults too;  Adults, are YOU ready for a great Continuing Education opportunity? The Executive Success Series begins in September.  Research shows that 85 percent of success in the business world hinges on your soft skills, and only 15 percent on your technical skills. Yet many people do not take the time to invest in the most critical part of their professional training, the crucial social skills that enhance your ability to communicate, negotiate, and lead which helps you build relationships and close deals. Are you ready to invest in your 85 percent? Click here to register now, space is limited!  Registration closes Monday, August 31.

Youth Programs – Start SOON, don’t miss out! Registration is under way for our 5-12th grade programs that start soon.  Register today! For more information click on the links below:

5-8th Grade Programs
9-12th Grade Programs General Information
www.ExpeditionsInEtiquette.com

 

Thanks for reading!
Carey Sue


In other news….

Email Newsletter Have you signed up to receive Manner Monday directly to your inbox every week?  Click on the button below that says ‘Keep me on the list!’ and choose your settings:

  • Manner Monday will go out every Monday morning with a tip of the week, a helpful hint, or a fun ‘mannerly’ story.
  • Weekly Updates go out every week (or as I have information to share… so I really should call it something else because you won’t see it ‘weekly’).

Click the button below to subscribe and access Email Newsletter settings: Keep me on the list Business Etiquette Training and other Workshops Would you like to schedule a workshop or presentation? I have a variety of workshops that can be customized to fit your needs and would love to work with your organization, Click Here to access the Business Section of the website.  Or please call or email for more information, 405-721-1467 or CareySue@CareySueVega.com Here are just a few of the workshop topics:

  • Etiquette and the Generations – understanding ‘those guys’
  • Creating a Great Customer Service Experience
  • Business Etiquette and Professionalism – Navigating Lunch and Networking Events
  • Dude your Rude! Interoffice civility awareness and team building
  • First and Lasting Impressions
  • Professional Dress
  • Trade Show Booth Training

Word of Mouth is the best compliment you can give.  Do you know of some who may be interested in our programs, please share our information with them.  Here is the best link to share with them, it covers everything in a nutshell:  https://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/programs/

 

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Business Etiquette, Etiquette, Fashion, Manner Monday, Manners

Manner Monday®: Back to School Manners

Summer is over and it’s back-to-school time for the kiddos.

Please take a few minutes to remind the young people in your life how important it is to be aware of their surroundings and how easy it can be to help make the shy, or new, person feel more comfortable; not only during these first few weeks of school, but anytime during the year.  It’s amazing how the simple and easy act of eye contact, a smile, a sincere compliment or kind word can go a long way in making someone feel a bit more comfortable, confident, and welcomed.  And if they’re the shy one… slow down, take a deep breath, and the same words of wisdom work for them too.

They may end up making a new “best friend”.

shy

Click to Tweet: The simple act of eye contact, a smile, a sincere compliment or kind word go a long way in making someone feel welcomed. http://bit.ly/mmB2S

Speaking of Back to School;  Adults, are YOU ready for a great Continuing Education opportunity? The Executive Success Series begins in September.  Research shows that 85 percent of success in the business world hinges on your soft skills, and only 15 percent on your technical skills. Yet many people do not take the time to invest in the most critical part of their professional training, the crucial social skills that enhance your ability to communicate, negotiate, and lead which helps you build relationships and close deals. Are you ready to invest in your 85 percent?
Click here to register now, space is limited!  Registration closes Monday, August 31.

Youth Programs – Start SOON, don’t miss out!
Registration is under way for our 5-12th grade programs that start soon.  Register today!

For more information click on the links below:
5-8th Grade Programs
9-12th Grade Programs
General Information
www.ExpeditionsInEtiquette.com

Do you have a ‘manner’ or question you would like to see covered in a post?  Feel free to send me your thoughts, I would love to hear from you. My goal is to help my students to feel more comfortable and confident in the social and professional skills; do you know someone who would enjoy this post?  If so, please share it and encourage them to sign up to receive Manner Monday?  I would appreciate it!  And if you’re new to Manner Monday, I’d love for you to take a minute to learn more about why I started it. You can click here to read my very first post that tells all about it.

Thanks for reading!
Carey Sue


In other news….

 

Email Newsletter Have you signed up to receive Manner Monday directly to your inbox every week?  Click on the button below that says ‘Keep me on the list!’ and choose your settings:

  • Manner Monday will go out every Monday morning with a tip of the week, a helpful hint, or a fun ‘mannerly’ story.
  • Weekly Updates go out every week (or as I have information to share… so I really should call it something else because you won’t see it ‘weekly’).

Click the button below to subscribe and access Email Newsletter settings: Keep me on the list Business Etiquette Training and other Workshops Would you like to schedule a workshop or presentation? I have a variety of workshops that can be customized to fit your needs and would love to work with your organization, Click Here to access the Business Section of the website.  Or please call or email for more information, 405-721-1467 or CareySue@CareySueVega.com Here are just a few of the workshop topics:

  • Etiquette and the Generations – understanding ‘those guys’
  • Creating a Great Customer Service Experience
  • Business Etiquette and Professionalism – Navigating Lunch and Networking Events
  • Dude your Rude! Interoffice civility awareness and team building
  • First and Lasting Impressions
  • Professional Dress
  • Trade Show Booth Training

Word of Mouth is the best compliment you can give.  Do you know of some who may be interested in our programs, please share our information with them.  Here is the best link to share with them, it covers everything in a nutshell:  https://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/programs/

 

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Business Etiquette, Etiquette, Family, Manner Monday, Manners

Thanks for stopping by…

 

 

This blog is where I post Manner Monday every week.  If you’re interested in classes or programs, please visit these links:

5-8th Graders

2013-03-21 12.08.39

 

9-12th Graders

https://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/passport-high-school-registration/

 

Interview Intensive

handshake

 

Executive Success Series

Luncheon

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Business Etiquette, Classes, Etiquette, Manner Monday, Manners

Manner Monday®: Social Graces, ‘The Chicago Tribune’

I was honored to be asked to participate in the Social Graces column with The Chicago Tribune recently!

The question posed for the column was:  “When a co-worker shares more than they should at the office – how should you react?”  Click here to access the column and my answer.

Do you have a ‘manner’ or question you would like to see covered in a post?  Feel free to send me your thoughts, I would love to hear from you.

My goal is to help my students to feel more comfortable and confident in the social and professional skills; do you know someone who would enjoy this post?  If so, please share it and encourage them to sign up to receive Manner Monday?  I would appreciate it!  And if you’re new to Manner Monday, I’d love for you to take a minute to learn more about why I started it. You can click here to read my very first post that tells all about it.

Thanks for reading!
– Carey Sue

 

In other news….

Do you know of a 5th-12th grader who would benefit from improved social skills, confidence (the right kind of confidence) and better manners?  We have a few options for them…

Registration for the 2016-2017 Season 5-8th grade programs is open, Click here to register.

  • Save $50 by registering by July 31 for a single season.
  • Or save $364 by taking advantage of the Multi-Season Discount.

Passport (9-12th Grade) Program

Click Here to access more information and to access the Passport (9-12th Grade) Program.

Email Newsletter
Have you signed up to receive Manner Monday directly to your inbox every week?  Click on the button below that says ‘Keep me on the list!’ and choose your settings:

  • Manner Monday will go out every Monday morning with a tip of the week, a helpful hint, or a fun ‘mannerly’ story.
  • Weekly Updates go out every week (or as I have information to share… so I really should call it something else because you won’t see it ‘weekly’).

Click the button below to subscribe and access Email Newsletter settings:

Keep me on the list


Business Etiquette Training and other Workshops

Would you like to schedule a workshop or presentation?

I have a variety of workshops that can be customized to fit your needs and would love to work with your organization, Click Here to access the Business Section of the website.  Or please call or email for more information, 405-721-1467 or CareySue@CareySueVega.com

Here are just a few of the workshop topics:

  • Etiquette and the Generations – understanding ‘those guys’
  • Creating a Great Customer Service Experience
  • Business Etiquette and Professionalism – Navigating Lunch and Networking Events
  • Dude your Rude! Interoffice civility awareness and team building
  • First and Lasting Impressions
  • Professional Dress
  • Trade Show Booth Training

Word of Mouth is the best compliment you can give.  Do you know of some who may be interested in our programs, please share our information with them.  Here is the best link to share with them, it covers everything in a nutshell:  https://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/programs/

 

 

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Business Etiquette, Etiquette, Manner Monday, Manners

Manner Monday®: Introductions

Q: “What is the appropriate way to introduce a same-sex couple? I have asked the couple and they each have differing opinions.  One prefers not to be introduced as married but his partner prefers to be introduced as a married couple.  I have known them for a long time & know the struggles they have each had, but I find it difficult to introduce them while not offending one or the other.” Thanks – Tracey

A: The formal rules of an introduction can still apply in this situation without mentioning marital status. One of the most important components of the old-school formal introduction rules state that you are to say the most important persons name first (lady vs. man, senior manager vs. junior, older vs. younger, etc.)  To help you from getting caught in the middle, I would stick to that rule, keeping it simple and introduce them by their names adding a conversation starter of common interest that will help guide the conversation. For example:

‘Mary, I’d like to introduce to you Bob and Tom. Mary is the director of the ABC Foundation; Bob and I met while working on the XYZ non-profit board. And Tom is an avid supporter of the LMN project’

One mistake when making an introduction is giving too much information or making too-personal comments. Offering up TMI (too much information) during the introduction can create an obviously awkward situation (like the one posed in your question) and doesn’t leave anything for the newly acquainted individuals to find out during the resulting conversation. Keeping it simple, will keep you out of the middle of their relationship!

Do you know someone who would enjoy this post?  If so, please share it and encourage them to sign up to receive Manner Monday?  I would appreciate it!  And if you’re new to Manner Monday, I’d love for you to take a minute to learn more about why I started it. You can click here to read my very first post that tells all about it.

Do you have a ‘manner’ or question you would like to see covered in a post?  Feel free to send me your thoughts, I would love to hear from you.

Thanks for reading!
– Carey Sue

handshake


In other news….

Do you know of a 5th-12th grader who would benefit from improved social skills, confidence (the right kind of confidence) and better manners?  We have a few options for them…

Registration for the 2016-2017 Season 5-8th grade programs is open, Click here to register.

  • Save $70 by registering by June 15 for a single season.
  • Or save $364 by taking advantage of the Multi-Season Discount.

Passport (9-12th Grade) Program

Click Here to access more information and to access the Passport (9-12th Grade) Program.

Email Newsletter
Have you signed up to receive Manner Monday directly to your inbox every week?  Click on the button below that says ‘Keep me on the list!’ and choose your settings:

  • Manner Monday will go out every Monday morning with a tip of the week, a helpful hint, or a fun ‘mannerly’ story.
  • Weekly Updates go out every week (or as I have information to share… so I really should call it something else because you won’t see it ‘weekly’).

Click the button below to subscribe and access Email Newsletter settings:

Keep me on the list


Business Etiquette Training and other Workshops

Would you like to schedule a workshop or presentation?

I have a variety of workshops that can be customized to fit your needs and would love to work with your organization, Click Here to access the Business Section of the website.  Or please call or email for more information, 405-721-1467 or CareySue@CareySueVega.com

Here are just a few of the workshop topics:

  • Etiquette and the Generations – understanding ‘those guys’
  • Creating a Great Customer Service Experience
  • Business Etiquette and Professionalism – Navigating Lunch and Networking Events
  • Dude your Rude! Interoffice civility awareness and team building
  • First and Lasting Impressions
  • Professional Dress
  • Trade Show Booth Training

Word of Mouth is the best compliment you can give.  Do you know of some who may be interested in our programs, please share our information with them.  Here is the best link to share with them, it covers everything in a nutshell:  https://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/programs/

 

No comments | leave a comment
Business Etiquette, Etiquette, Manner Monday, Manners

Manner Monday ®: Mindfulness and Work

Recently I had the privilege of participating in a presentation and discussion hosted by Sherry Dale on Mindfulness and Work.  I found the topic to be extremely interesting and relevant to the recent blog post I wrote about The Expectations of Electronic Etiquette so I asked Sherry if she would mind sharing her information with you.  Sherry Dale, CPA is a serial entrepreneur, mindfulness coach and partner in the management consulting firm, The Mettise Group.  She can be contacted at sherry@mettise.com

Mindfulness and Work – What is it?

Many times the words mindfulness and meditation are used interchangeably so for the purposes of this article, the distinctions are as follows:

Meditation is when you intentionally set aside time to do something that is good for you – writing in a journal, spending time in nature, prayer, exercise, music or art.

Mindfulness (a deceptively simple practice) is a way of being – of having a general awareness of the world. It requires purposeful and nonjudgmental attention to the present moment. Practicing mindfulness is the antithesis to being on autopilot.

We live in an always on 24/7 world – full of distractions. We seem to have the collective attention span of a gnat. However with a mindfulness practice, we can resist endlessly reacting to our inbox and take ownership of a meaningful agenda.

So what does science say?

The scientific community has caught on to the mindfulness revolution. An emerging field of contemplative neuroscientists are becoming a part of everyday academia at the best research universities around the globe. Whole centers have sprung up at universities like Stanford, UCLA, Harvard, Yale and others where scientists and psychologists are studying longtime meditators.

Technology has made a significant impact on helping the scientific community make a big leap forward in studying the impact mindfulness has on the brain. The advent of the functional MRI has aided in the research. The fMRI technology shows in real time what areas of the brain are active. After examining the brains of the same individuals, scientists quickly began to see that the neural pathways of the brain seemed to change over time.

We now understand that our neural pathways continue to develop throughout our lifetime. This is a key finding of modern neuroscience – the architecture of our brains is not static; it can change. The notion of neuroplasticity has upended the study of the brain at academic institutions around the world and now it is changing the way researchers assess mindfulness.

Mindfulness increases activity in parts of the prefrontal cortex which is the seat of much of our higher-order thinking – our judgment, decision making, planning and discernment. In addition, research has demonstrated measurable changes in the brain regions linked to memory, self-awareness, stress and empathy for those subjects who practice mindfulness.

What we think can change the brain.

How does this relate to our work?

A huge problem in the workplace today is lack of attention. People are distracted.

mindfulness We are in a state of continuous partial attention. At meetings – your body is there but your mind is somewhere else. We have countless gadgets constantly sending information – texts, calls, emails, reminders, news flashes – no wonder we are exhausted.

Lack of attention impacts your performance. Your ability to do your job is directly related to how well you concentrate and focus. If you’re continually distracted, you just can’t get it done, or get it done well.

Focused, less stressed, more effective and happier – all sound like things we want for ourselves and our employees. Mindfulness is becoming an integral part of leadership strategy. The ability to be calm and concentrated in the midst of chaos is a transformative skill set for CEOs, executives and leaders.

Mindfulness is about being fully present. Imagine the power of everyone being fully present at meetings or during conversations.

Many companies are beginning to realize that it’s bad for their employees to be so stressed out that their health falters or so distractible that they can’t concentrate.

Organizations such as General Mills, Aetna, Apple, Google, SalesForce, Etsy, the Pentagon and many others are offering mindfulness training to employees. Employees who have attended the training sessions report reduction in overall stress, improved time management and improved ability to handle workloads. Employees also report reduction in perceived strenuousness of the job as well as reduction in the perceived mental and interpersonal demands of their jobs.

Leadership:

Some of the main qualities of effective leadership – clarity, focus and compassion can be cultivated through mindfulness. Mindful leaders are less stressed and more accepting of what is happening. They are more focused and not easily distracted: while staying on task and paying attention to those around them. They are compassionate – working to improve working conditions for themselves and others.

 5 simple ways to get started:

  1. Tune into your breathing 4 times during the day – be mindful of 2 or 3 full cycles of breath.
  2. Eat one meal mindfully this week.
  3. Choose a routine activity usually done on autopilot (brushing teeth, showering, taking out the trash, driving to work) – and do it intentionally this week.
  4. Choose either first thing in morning or right before bed – take 5 to 10 minutes to bring your mind to the present moment – still the mind; be quiet & peaceful.
  5. Meetings and conversations– commit to being fully present; mobile devices are silenced; focus your complete attention to the human interaction; be aware of what is merely noise; start the meeting with a moment of silence for everyone to arrive both physically and mentally.

And, a bonus suggestion – start keeping a gratitude journal – it will help you gain clarity on what really matters and what just causes you stress and anxiety.

Closing:

Mindfulness can change us from the inside out. It can make us compassionately accepting of imperfection. It can shift us from reaction to response and from greed to gratitude. With improved concentration and more effective leadership, we can transform the exhausted, stressed and uninspired to the present, resilient, focused and productive.

Click to Tweet:  As a leader, are you practicing Mindfulness? Today’s #MannerMonday tackles the topic. http://bit.ly/mndfulnss

Do you know someone who would enjoy this post?  If so, please share it and encourage them to sign up to receive Manner Monday?  I would appreciate it!  And if you’re new to Manner Monday, I’d love for you to take a minute to learn more about why I started it. You can click here to read my very first post that tells all about it.

Do you have a ‘manner’ or question you would like to see covered in a post?  Feel free to send me your thoughts, I would love to hear from you.

Thanks for reading!
– Carey Sue


In other news….

Do you know of a 5th-12th grader who would benefit from improved social skills, confidence (the right kind of confidence) and better manners?  We have a few options for them…

Registration for the 2016-2017 Season 5-8th grade programs is open, Click here to register.

  • Save $70 by registering by June 15 for a single season.
  • Or save $364 by taking advantage of the Multi-Season Discount.

Passport (9-12th Grade) Program

Click Here to access more information and to access the Passport (9-12th Grade) Program.

Email Newsletter
Have you signed up to receive Manner Monday directly to your inbox every week?  Click on the button below that says ‘Keep me on the list!’ and choose your settings:

  • Manner Monday will go out every Monday morning with a tip of the week, a helpful hint, or a fun ‘mannerly’ story.
  • Weekly Updates go out every week (or as I have information to share… so I really should call it something else because you won’t see it ‘weekly’).

Click the button below to subscribe and access Email Newsletter settings:

Keep me on the list


Business Etiquette Training and other Workshops

Would you like to schedule a workshop or presentation?

I have a variety of workshops that can be customized to fit your needs and would love to work with your organization, Click Here to access the Business Section of the website.  Or please call or email for more information, 405-721-1467 or CareySue@CareySueVega.com

Here are just a few of the workshop topics:

  • Etiquette and the Generations – understanding ‘those guys’
  • Creating a Great Customer Service Experience
  • Business Etiquette and Professionalism – Navigating Lunch and Networking Events
  • Dude your Rude! Interoffice civility awareness and team building
  • First and Lasting Impressions
  • Professional Dress
  • Trade Show Booth Training

Word of Mouth is the best compliment you can give.  Do you know of some who may be interested in our programs, please share our information with them.  Here is the best link to share with them, it covers everything in a nutshell:  https://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/programs/

No comments | leave a comment
Business Etiquette, Etiquette, Manner Monday, Manners

Manner Monday®: Body Language and Nervous Gestures

Nervous gestures such as pen popping, hair twirling and nail biting are ‘little things’ that can help you lose credibility faster than anything.  Unfortunately, when someone has a nervous gesture, the person with whom they are communicating often loses focus on the conversation at hand.  The nervous gesture becomes the main attraction and the actual topic gets lost in the inadvertent ‘shuffle’.

Be aware of your gestures throughout the day, you want to appear confident and competent.  Don’t let these subtle little ‘habits’ undermine your authority.  Below are a few of the ‘little things’ that can be misinterpreted as lack of confidence:

  • Biting or chewing fingernails
  • Playing with hair
  • Wringing hands
  • Avoiding eye contact
  • Nervous laughter
  • Drumming fingers
  • Playing with objects
  • Continuously clicking your ink pen
  • Wiggling or fidgeting in your seat
  • Bouncing knees up and down
  • Bouncing foot up and down when legs are crossed
  • Tapping feet  – unless of course you’re in tap class and supposed to be tapping your feet!

You want to be remembered for your self-confidence, poise and polish!

Click to Tweet: You want to be remembered for self-confidence, poise and polish. Not pen-clicking and nervous gestures! #MannerMonday http://bit.ly/nervges

tappingfeet

Do you know someone who would enjoy this post?  If so, please share it and encourage them to sign up to receive Manner Monday?  I would appreciate it!  And if you’re new to Manner Monday, I’d love for you to take a minute to learn more about why I started it. You can click here to read my very first post that tells all about it.

Do you have a ‘manner’ or question you would like to see covered in a post?  Feel free to send me your thoughts, I would love to hear from you.

Thanks for reading!
– Carey Sue


In other news….

Do you know of a 5th-12th grader who would benefit from improved social skills, confidence (the right kind of confidence) and better manners?  We have a few options for them…

Registration for the 2016-2017 Season 5-8th grade programs is open, Click here to register.

  • Save $70 by registering by June 15 for a single season.
  • Or save $364 by taking advantage of the Multi-Season Discount.

Passport (9-12th Grade) Program

Click Here to access more information and to access the Passport (9-12th Grade) Program.

Email Newsletter
Have you signed up to receive Manner Monday directly to your inbox every week?  Click on the button below that says ‘Keep me on the list!’ and choose your settings:

  • Manner Monday will go out every Monday morning with a tip of the week, a helpful hint, or a fun ‘mannerly’ story.
  • Weekly Updates go out every week (or as I have information to share… so I really should call it something else because you won’t see it ‘weekly’).

Click the button below to subscribe and access Email Newsletter settings:

Keep me on the list


Business Etiquette Training and other Workshops

Would you like to schedule a workshop or presentation?

I have a variety of workshops that can be customized to fit your needs and would love to work with your organization, Click Here to access the Business Section of the website.  Or please call or email for more information, 405-721-1467 or CareySue@CareySueVega.com

Here are just a few of the workshop topics:

  • Etiquette and the Generations – understanding ‘those guys’
  • Creating a Great Customer Service Experience
  • Business Etiquette and Professionalism – Navigating Lunch and Networking Events
  • Dude your Rude! Interoffice civility awareness and team building
  • First and Lasting Impressions
  • Professional Dress
  • Trade Show Booth Training

Word of Mouth is the best compliment you can give.  Do you know of some who may be interested in our programs, please share our information with them.  Here is the best link to share with them, it covers everything in a nutshell:  https://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/programs/

 

No comments | leave a comment
Business Etiquette, Etiquette, Manner Monday, Manners, Uncategorized

Manner Monday®: The Expectations of Electronic Etiquette

Just as Business, Social and Dining Etiquette all have many layers, so does Electronic Etiquette: Email Etiquette, typing in ALL CAPS, voicemail messages, voicemail greetings, inappropriate social media sharing, you get the picture. And more than likely you’ve heard many spiels on the basic premise of Electronic Etiquette – giving the person in front of you 100% of your attention. We get it. I believe the difficulty in navigating Electronic Etiquette lies mostly in the expectations of those participating in the exchange.

man-person-smartphone-technology There is a lot of criticism afoot about Millenials and how they hide behind their electronics and there is some truth to that, however, we have to own the fact that some of their behavior stems from the expectations that we (parents, bosses, colleagues) place upon them to immediately respond to a request. Email and text messaging is designed to be asynchronistic but our expectations have grown into the anticipation of a real time exchange.

I was recently talking with a high-powered law firm partner in Chicago who summed up the quandary very aptly. When he’s in a meeting with one of his associates, he expects their full attention. However, when that same associate is in another meeting with another partner, who also expects their full attention, he gets frustrated when he doesn’t get an immediate response. He also acknowledged that if ‘back-in-the-day’, he were to walk by the conference room and see them in a meeting, he of course would not expect an immediate response. But in the virtual world that we now live and do business, it’s very easy to forget that no matter how plugged in we are, we can only be in one place at one time. No matter how well we think we can multitask.

We’re putting Millennials in an impossible position of giving their full attention and respect to the person in front of them, but yet getting frustrated with their inattention to our electronic request. We think they’re being disrespectful when they sneak a peak at their device in front of us – yet we’ve been grooming them to respond to our requests immediately.

We’ve become a society of individuals where, ‘we want what we want, when we want it, and we want it now’ has become the status quo. Basic email etiquette allows for a 24-48 hour window of response. How have we come to expect an immediate response from interoffice associates? We have high expectations – and we’re asking a lot from our colleagues. Is there a happy medium? Do we need to adjust our expectations – are they realistic?

Click to Tweet: ‘We want what we want, when we want it – now’, #MannerMonday addresses Expectations of Electronic Etiquette http://bit.ly/ExpectElectEtq

Do you know someone who would enjoy this post?  If so, please share it and encourage them to sign up to receive Manner Monday?  I would appreciate it!  And if you’re new to Manner Monday, I’d love for you to take a minute to learn more about why I started it. You can click here to read my very first post that tells all about it.

Do you have a ‘manner’ or question you would like to see covered in a post?  Feel free to send me your thoughts, I would love to hear from you.

Thanks for reading!
– Carey Sue


In other news….

Do you know of a 5th-12th grader who would benefit from improved social skills, confidence (the right kind of confidence) and better manners?  We have a few options for them…

Registration for the 2016-2017 Season 5-8th grade programs is open, Click here to register.

  • Save $70 by registering by June 15 for a single season.
  • Or save $364 by taking advantage of the Multi-Season Discount.

Passport (9-12th Grade) Program

Click Here to access more information and to access the Passport (9-12th Grade) Program.

Email Newsletter
Have you signed up to receive Manner Monday directly to your inbox every week?  Click on the button below that says ‘Keep me on the list!’ and choose your settings:

  • Manner Monday will go out every Monday morning with a tip of the week, a helpful hint, or a fun ‘mannerly’ story.
  • Weekly Updates go out every week (or as I have information to share… so I really should call it something else because you won’t see it ‘weekly’).

Click the button below to subscribe and access Email Newsletter settings:

Keep me on the list


Business Etiquette Training and other Workshops

Would you like to schedule a workshop or presentation?

I have a variety of workshops that can be customized to fit your needs and would love to work with your organization, Click Here to access the Business Section of the website.  Or please call or email for more information, 405-721-1467 or CareySue@CareySueVega.com

Here are just a few of the workshop topics:

  • Etiquette and the Generations – understanding ‘those guys’
  • Creating a Great Customer Service Experience
  • Business Etiquette and Professionalism – Navigating Lunch and Networking Events
  • Dude your Rude! Interoffice civility awareness and team building
  • First and Lasting Impressions
  • Professional Dress
  • Trade Show Booth Training

Word of Mouth is the best compliment you can give.  Do you know of some who may be interested in our programs, please share our information with them.  Here is the best link to share with them, it covers everything in a nutshell:  https://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/programs/

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Business Etiquette, Etiquette, Manner Monday, Manners

Manner Monday®: How do you address a Cell Phone cold call?

Today’s Manner Monday tackles the awkward cold call when you’re calling someone’s cell phone for the first time.

Q: “My mom always taught me to say this when I call people, “Hello, may I please speak with Jane?”  Given that cell phones belong to one person, rather than a household, what it the best way to address someone you are calling?  I’m not referring to a friend or acquaintance, but rather a situation when you “cold call” someone.  This has actually come up several times in the context of the community volunteer group I lead.  When I ask, ‘Hello, may I please speak with Jane?’, I always detect some trepidation, as if the person is thinking, ‘Well, who do you think this is? You called my cell phone after all!’ I would love your advice!” – Thank you, Sara

DonAdamsGetSmartShoePhone A: You’re right, often the ‘old-school’ rule seems a bit awkward with technology advancements. I don’t know about you, but sometimes when I’m navigating the rules of new technology – I feel like ‘Maxwell Smart’ from the old TV Show, ‘Get Smart’ who was known for talking on his ‘shoe phone’. But there are a few ‘old-school’ rules though that still apply such as the 9-9 rule; don’t make calls (or send texts) before 9am or after 9pm.

Click to Tweet:  Do you feel like Maxwell Smart when making a cold call to someone’s cell phone? #MannerMonday http://bit.ly/CellColdCall

When I find myself making that awkward call to someone’s cell phone, I usually say, “Sara? (allowing them to confirm), Hi this is Carey Sue Vega; I’m calling in reference to…. Is this a good time?”

When someone calls my cell, and I’m not sure who it is, I answer with a perky ‘Carey Sue speaking’, which let’s the other person know they’ve correctly reached me and can then introduce herself and get the dialogue started.

Here are some tips to make phone calls in general a bit more smoothly:

Tone of voice: Without people being able to see your face and facial expressions, they will draw conclusions about your trustworthiness, reliability and confidence solely from how you sound. Your tone of voice is the only thing they have to draw on for your first impression.

  • Don’t talk too fast, or too slow
  • Don’t talk too loud, or to quiet
  • Smile while you’re talking (I know it sounds cheesy, but it makes a difference)

Background noise: Make sure you’re out of the wind, turn down the radio or TV, and keep distractions to a minimum. Focus on the phone call as if you were talking to that person face-to-face. And definitely don’t eat or drink while you’re on the phone – those noises are amplified and you’ll sound like the cookie monster to the person on the other end of the line.

And here’s a recent article for more tips on cell phone etiquette.

Do you know someone who would enjoy this post?  If so, please share it and encourage them to sign up to receive Manner Monday?  I would appreciate it!  And if you’re new to Manner Monday, I’d love for you to take a minute to learn more about why I started it. You can click here to read my very first post that tells all about it.

Do you have a ‘manner’ or question you would like to see covered in a post?  Feel free to send me your thoughts, I would love to hear from you.

Thanks for reading!
– Carey Sue


In other news….

Do you know of a 5th-12th grader who would benefit from improved social skills, confidence (the right kind of confidence) and better manners?  We have a few options for them…

Registration for the 2016-2017 Season 5-8th grade programs is open, Click here to register.

  • Save $70 by registering by June 15 for a single season.
  • Or save $364 by taking advantage of the Multi-Season Discount.

Passport (9-12th Grade) Program

Click Here to access more information and to access the Passport (9-12th Grade) Program.

Email Newsletter
Have you signed up to receive Manner Monday directly to your inbox every week?  Click on the button below that says ‘Keep me on the list!’ and choose your settings:

  • Manner Monday will go out every Monday morning with a tip of the week, a helpful hint, or a fun ‘mannerly’ story.
  • Weekly Updates go out every week (or as I have information to share… so I really should call it something else because you won’t see it ‘weekly’).

Click the button below to subscribe and access Email Newsletter settings:

Keep me on the list


Business Etiquette Training and other Workshops

Would you like to schedule a workshop or presentation?

I have a variety of workshops that can be customized to fit your needs and would love to work with your organization, Click Here to access the Business Section of the website.  Or please call or email for more information, 405-721-1467 or CareySue@CareySueVega.com

Here are just a few of the workshop topics:

  • Etiquette and the Generations – understanding ‘those guys’
  • Creating a Great Customer Service Experience
  • Business Etiquette and Professionalism – Navigating Lunch and Networking Events
  • Dude your Rude! Interoffice civility awareness and team building
  • First and Lasting Impressions
  • Professional Dress
  • Trade Show Booth Training

Word of Mouth is the best compliment you can give.  Do you know of some who may be interested in our programs, please share our information with them.  Here is the best link to share with them, it covers everything in a nutshell:  https://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/programs/

 

 

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Business Etiquette, Etiquette, Manner Monday, Manners

Manner Monday®: Social Kiss Etiquette

Today’s Manner Monday answers a reader’s question about the Social Kiss…

Q: Can you share some rules & etiquette on greeting others with a kiss on the cheek?  At community social events I often bump into acquaintances that give a kiss; I’ve learned to not be surprised, but am not sure how to reciprocate. Do I give an actual kiss on the cheek or just touch cheek to cheek & making a kissing sound?  Also, how do I know if the person is just going to kiss one cheek or both? Thanks for your help! – Marni

A: When I was a Cruise Director working on cruise ships in Europe, the Social Kiss was a common occurrence when greeting friends and colleagues at each port. We created some pretty amazing friendships with port agents and tour operators we would see on a regular basis. Each greeting was always a warm and friendly kiss on the cheek accompanied by a brief hug. Sometimes it would be one kiss; sometimes two, three or four. I quickly learned that region dictated the number of kisses. The social kiss never felt invasive or flirtatious, it was always a sincere and genuine greeting that made me feel like a life-long friend.

Fresh off a contract in Europe, I was back on American soil (in Oklahoma), and I’ll never forget the awkward situation I created. After being accustomed to the social kiss, I ran into a male (married) friend whom I promptly greeted with a kiss on the cheek. I’ll never forget his body language – I could tell he had no idea how to process or react to the greeting. So I quickly did some back peddling, apologized and said I need to get back to the customary American greeting of a handshake.

The Social Kiss has been gaining momentum in the States. I believe this has much to do with to the advancements of technology and social media and the fact that we’re more and more becoming a multi-cultural society. And not to mention – we see it frequently on reality TV shows.

So how do you handle the social kiss?

Be a detective: you have a bit of investigative work to do with reading the other persons body language and social cues. In a professional situation – I would still opt for the handshake, which is always going to be your safest bet.

puckerup No need to pucker up: a social kiss consists of gentle cheek-to-cheek contact. You do not make contact with your lips to their cheek; no saliva or lipstick should make a landing. The majority of cultures who participate in this greeting start with right cheeks, just like a handshake – you shake with the right; you kiss the right cheek first. And no need for the ‘muwah-muwah’ sound (unless you’re with REALLY close friends, then it’s sometimes just fun to do).

No thanks: And if you’re uncomfortable with the social kiss, you can usually be successful in warding one off by offering a handshake before the other person has the opportunity to come in for the kiss.

If you are traveling outside of the States or doing business with someone from another culture, one of my favorite resources is “Kiss, Bow, or Shake Hands”. They have a series of books that dig into international business etiquette, practices, and cultural cues. And cover everything from body language and hand signals, to who makes decisions and how to make a proper greeting for each culture.

Click to Tweet:  How do you handle the Social Kiss? #MannerMonday http://bit.ly/SocKiss

Do you know someone who would enjoy this post?  If so, please share it and encourage them to sign up to receive Manner Monday?  I would appreciate it!  And if you’re new to Manner Monday, I’d love for you to take a minute to learn more about why I started it. You can click here to read my very first post that tells all about it.

Do you have a ‘manner’ or question you would like to see covered in a post?  Feel free to send me your thoughts, I would love to hear from you.

Thanks for reading… Kiss, Kiss!
– Carey Sue


In other news….

Do you know of a 5th-12th grader who would benefit from improved social skills, confidence (the right kind of confidence) and better manners?  We have a few options for them…

Registration for the 2016-2017 Season 5-8th grade programs is open, Click here to register.

  • Save $70 by registering by June 15 for a single season.
  • Or save $364 by taking advantage of the Multi-Season Discount.

Passport (9-12th Grade) Program

Click Here to access more information and to access the Passport (9-12th Grade) Program.

Email Newsletter
Have you signed up to receive Manner Monday directly to your inbox every week?  Click on the button below that says ‘Keep me on the list!’ and choose your settings:

  • Manner Monday will go out every Monday morning with a tip of the week, a helpful hint, or a fun ‘mannerly’ story.
  • Weekly Updates go out every week (or as I have information to share… so I really should call it something else because you won’t see it ‘weekly’).

Click the button below to subscribe and access Email Newsletter settings:

Keep me on the list


Business Etiquette Training and other Workshops

Would you like to schedule a workshop or presentation?

I have a variety of workshops that can be customized to fit your needs and would love to work with your organization, Click Here to access the Business Section of the website.  Or please call or email for more information, 405-721-1467 or CareySue@CareySueVega.com

Here are just a few of the workshop topics:

  • Etiquette and the Generations – understanding ‘those guys’
  • Creating a Great Customer Service Experience
  • Business Etiquette and Professionalism – Navigating Lunch and Networking Events
  • Dude your Rude! Interoffice civility awareness and team building
  • First and Lasting Impressions
  • Professional Dress
  • Trade Show Booth Training

Word of Mouth is the best compliment you can give.  Do you know of some who may be interested in our programs, please share our information with them.  Here is the best link to share with them, it covers everything in a nutshell:  https://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/programs/

No comments | leave a comment
Business Etiquette, Cruise Ships, Etiquette, Manner Monday, Manners