Manner Monday®: Don’t let this Virus infect your office!

You provide hand sanitizer at every door and soap in all of the restrooms. You encourage employees to work out and to stay healthy. You work hard to keep employees healthy.

But unfortunately there is another virus that is spreading, and if it goes untreated, it too can hurt your bottom line… The Incivility Virus.

A recent University of Florida study found that mistreated people are also more likely to feel as if others are treating them rudely. They then respond with more rudeness, passing on negative emotions like a virus.

According to Trevor Foulk, the study’s lead author, “Rudeness has an incredibly powerful negative effect on the workplace.” The study was published recently in the Journal of Applied Psychology.

Just like secondhand smoke from cigarettes, the study found that disrespect also has harmful side effects. Participants who watched a video of an impolite workplace interaction and then answered an email from a fictitious customer were more likely to be discourteous in their responses than people who watched a video of a polite interaction.

“That tells us that rudeness will flavor the way you interpret ambiguous cues,” Foulk said.

Workplace Incivility can rear its ugly head in many places; there are three basic types:

  • Interpersonal – This might happen when someone doesn’t say thank you after you did something nice for them.
  • Cyber Incivility – sending time sensitive information without giving the recipient a heads up. Not responding to emails. Using abrupt or curt verbiage in emails that leave the receiver questioning the tone of delivery. Without tone of voice, there is unfortunately room for interpretation, and we may end up seeing the sender as being rude.
  • Victimless – this is the ‘leave it for someone else to do’ syndrome. Leaving the coffee pot empty, leaving a paper jam in the copier without trying to fix it or report it, throwing trash ‘close’ the receptacle and not picking it up to put it in the trashcan. Victimless incivility does not have an instant impact on others, but it definitely violates norms and expectations for courtesy.

Civility costs nothing but goes a long way in helping to keep employee moral healthy, and boost your bottom line. Here are a few tips to help cultivate civility in your office:

  • Lead by Example. Management has to be onboard and they have to model civility at all times. If employees see their boss being disrespectful, it sets an underlying tone that the behavior is acceptable.
  • Have a discussion during staff meeting. Have the staff establish the norms and expectations so that everyone is onboard and understands what is expected.
  • No one gets a hall pass. Put your foot down; stop it in its place, especially any recurring offenders. Everyone plays be the same rules, even your favorite ‘rock star’ on the team. If the other team members see that you gave Betty a hall pass because she’s the top salesman – that will only help to perpetuate the incivility virus.
  • ‘Don’t let crazy in the door.’ I heard that phrase one time from Dave Ramsey and I’ve thought about it many times since. Do your due diligence during the interview process. Take the potential new hire out to eat with their significant other and watch closely how they treat that person. Pay attention to how they interact with the wait staff. It’s much easier to find out before you hire someone if they’re disrespectful than after you’ve brought them ‘in the door’.

Continuing Education is a good thing, and Civility Training will help to keep the incivility virus at bay in your office. Please email or call to talk more about how I can offer beneficial training to your team.

Click to Tweet: Civility costs nothing but goes a long way in helping to keep employee moral healthy, and boost your bottom line. http://bit.ly/Incivility

Do you know someone who would benefit from this post?  If so, please share it with them and encourage them to sign up to receive Manner Monday?  I would appreciate it!  And if you’re new to Manner Monday, I’d love for you to take a minute to learn more about why I started it. You can click here to read my very first post (five years ago – yowzer) that tells all about it.

Do you have a ‘manner’ or question you would like to see covered in a post?  Feel free to send me your thoughts, I would love to hear from you.

As always – Thanks for reading!
– Carey Sue

incivility virus

Back to ‘Business’ School for Adults; are YOU ready for a great Continuing Education opportunity? The Executive Success Series begins in September.  Research shows that 85 percent of success in the business world hinges on your soft skills, and only 15 percent on your technical skills. Yet many people do not take the time to invest in the most critical part of their professional training, the crucial social skills that enhance your ability to communicate, negotiate, and lead which helps you build relationships and close deals. Are you ready to invest in your 85 percent?
Click here to register now, space is limited!  Registration closes Monday, August 31.

Youth Programs – Start SOON, don’t miss out!
Registration is under way for our 5-12th grade programs that start soon.  Register today!

For more information click on the links below:
5-8th Grade Programs
9-12th Grade Programs
General Information
www.ExpeditionsInEtiquette.com

Did you know we have products available?
We have a few of styles and designs of personalized youth stationery available.  We also have darling place mats that help the little ones in your life get a jump-start on their table manners and make dining more fun.  Here is the link to the shop.

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Business Etiquette, Classes, Etiquette, Manner Monday, Manners

Manner Monday®: Back to School

Summer is over and it’s back-to-school time for the kiddos.

Please take a few minutes to remind the young people in your life how important it is to be aware of their surroundings and how easy it can be to help make the shy, or new, person feel more comfortable; not only during these first few weeks of school, but anytime during the year.  It’s amazing how the simple and easy act of eye contact, a smile, a sincere compliment or kind word can go a long way in making someone feel a bit more comfortable, confident, and welcomed.

They may even end up making a new “best friend”.

Click to Tweet: The simple act of eye contact, a smile, a sincere compliment or kind word go a long way in making someone feel welcomed. http://bit.ly/mmB2S

Speaking of Back to School; are YOU ready for a great Continuing Education opportunity? The Executive Success Series begins in September.  Research shows that 85 percent of success in the business world hinges on your soft skills, and only 15 percent on your technical skills. Yet many people do not take the time to invest in the most critical part of their professional training, the crucial social skills that enhance your ability to communicate, negotiate, and lead which helps you build relationships and close deals. Are you ready to invest in your 85 percent?
Click here to register now, space is limited!  Registration closes Monday, August 31.

If you liked this post, would you mind sharing it with someone else you think might enjoy it and encourage them to sign up to receive Manner Monday?  I would appreciate it!  And if you’re new to Manner Monday, I’d love for you to take a minute to learn more about why I started it. You can click here to read my very first post (five years ago – yowzer) that tells all about it.

Do you have a ‘manner’ or question you would like to see covered in a post?  Feel free to send me your thoughts, I would love to hear from you.

Youth Programs – Start SOON, don’t miss out!
Registration is under way for our 5-12th grade programs that start soon.  Register today!

For more information click on the links below:
5-8th Grade Programs
9-12th Grade Programs
General Information
www.ExpeditionsInEtiquette.com

Did you know we have products available?
We have a few of styles and designs of personalized youth stationery available.  We also have darling place mats that help the little ones in your life get a jump-start on their table manners and make dining more fun.  Here is the link to the shop.

As always – Thanks for reading!
– Carey Sue

Back to School

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Business Etiquette, Classes, Etiquette, Family, Manner Monday, Manners

Edmond Sun Article

Thank you to Megan Cox for a great article in the Edmond Sun recently.

“Being a parent is a challenge, and being a parent of children with good manners may feel like a fantasy at best.

But one company in the greater Oklahoma City and Edmond area is doing its best to make a difference. Expeditions in Etiquette has a mission of “Preparing students and adults for the professional and social seas of life,” headed up by Carey Sue Vega.

In a recent chat with Vega about what her classes offer, she told The Sun not only how she became an etiquette teacher, but how etiquette classes can positively impact a child’s social and professional future and still be fun.”

Click here to access the full article.

PassportHighSchoolClass

 

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Classes, Media

Manner Monday®: Manners and Etiquette, it’s about Hospitality not Formality

I love my job as an Etiquette Expert!  I love almost everything about it.  One of the only things I don’t like are the ‘assumptions’ associated with the title.  After getting to know someone new, they confess how they thought that I’m “Polly Perfect” all of the time.  I’m happy to announce for anyone wondering… I’m not! Just ask any of my friends 😉

I’m on a mission to debunk the notion that Etiquette is about Perfection.  I like to think of Manners and Etiquette more along the lines of Hospitality not Formality.  Yes, there are rules involved, but those rules are in place to make people feel comfortable and confident.  If we’ll start thinking of Manners and Etiquette from a perspective of Hospitality vs. Formality, then we’ll be in a better position to make others feel comfortable vs. uncomfortable.

Knowing the rules of etiquette does not give you a ‘hall pass’ to correct someone else’s mannerly misstep. If anything it arms you with the grace and knowledge to know you don’t point out the mistake and instead, it’s ‘Move along, there’s nothing to see here’.  

When I speak to groups and ask them what they think of when the hear the words ‘Manners’ and ‘Etiquette’, I’m usually met with answers like:

  • ‘snobby’
  • ‘rich’
  • ‘old school’
  • ‘rules’
  • ‘stuck up’

Those are the LAST things I want people thinking of when it comes to manners and etiquette!

I then ask the group to tell me words that come to mind when they hear the term ‘Hospitality’.  And I get answers such as:

  • ‘inviting’
  • ‘generous’
  • ‘warm’
  • ‘welcoming’
  • ‘making people feel comfortable’

Now, we’re talking! By implementing and practicing the rules of manners and etiquette, we end up making others around us feel comfortable. We treat them with respect; we make them feel comfortable. That’s what it’s all about, hospitality not formality!

Just in case you don’t believe me… a ‘picture’s worth a thousand words':

This is the day one of our students dropped something off at our house.  She looked a little shocked when I opened the door in ‘workout gear’.  I guess she thinks I wear heels and pearls around the house all day :-)

normal tennis shoes

Here I am with the ‘Hub’ and ‘Cub’ and a Scouting trip.  Yes, I camped in a tent!!!

normal hiking

Click to Tweet:  Manners and Etiquette; it’s about Hospitality not Formality! #MannerMonday http://bit.ly/HospVSForm

 

Thanks for reading!!!
– Carey Sue

On another note…

Registration is under way for our 5-12th grade programs that start soon.  Don’t miss out – register today!

For more information click on the links below:
5-8th Grade Programs
9-12th Grade Programs
General Information
www.ExpeditionsInEtiquette.com

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Classes, Etiquette, Family, Manner Monday, Manners

Give-Away Goodies and Other Updates

I hope you are having a fabulous summer so far!!! We are looking forward to another great season that will be starting before you know it! … I can’t believe it’s already mid June!

Do you have a friend who has not yet registered?
If you have friends who are interested in participating, please remind them to register soon to take advantage of the Spring Special discount.  The discount is available until June 15.
Here is the link to registration info:  https://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/registration/
Here is the link to basic info about the program:  https://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/programs/

As an incentive to register early, we’re excited to announce a fun give-away.  I loved the cute bags/totes that Target came out with this summer so much, that I had our logo embroidered on a few of them. We’ve been receiving rave reviews so Ann and I thought we should give one away.  My friend Whitney English said she would be happy to add a ‘Day Designer’ to the bag for the lucky winner.  So… we created a fun ‘prize pack’ that consists of:

  • The darling Navy Tote with the EIE logo embroidered in gold
  • The Day Designer by Whitney English (your choice of design)
  • Gold Glitter Coffee Mug
  • Blue (Cold) Cup
  • A ‘bag of tricks’ with a shoe shine sponge and mending kit to corral all of those little things ‘we might need’ in our purse!

Here’s a picture of the goodies:

DSC00288

To be eligible for the give-away, you must be registered by June 15.  (Yes, if you have already registered, you will automatically be included in the drawing.)

Video
We have a few videos available.

  1. the end of the season video produced by one of our graduating Student Ambassadors.  It’s a great overview of all of the formal events
  2. the Welcome Video I created as an introduction to new families whom I have not yet met.

All videos can be accessed via our YouTube page:  http://bit.ly/ExpeditionsinEtiquette

Schedules:
If you’re a planner and want to know the dates for the upcoming season, the ‘basic’ schedule has been set.  Once we have secured the majority of registrations this summer, we will announce the ‘detailed’ schedule and send an announcement via email.  Click the links below if you would like to view the ‘basic’ schedule.
Oklahoma City:  https://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/programs/oklahoma-city/
Edmond:  http://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/programs/edmond/

As always, if you have ANY questions, please do not hesitate to call or email.
– Carey Sue

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Classes

Manner Monday®: More Senior Spotlights

If you missed Manner Monday last week, we’ve been on a cruise and are just returning to the ‘real world. Here’s the post where I shared some fun tips, Packing for a Cruise with Julie and Gopher.   I’ll be sharing updates about our trip soon, but in the meantime, I thought you might enjoy some of the recent Senior Spotlights that have been posted to the blog.

As always, thanks for reading!
– Carey Sue


On another note… Don’t forget to register by June 15 to save money (links below)!

Have you seen our end of the season video yet?  Thank you to one of our Student Ambassadors, Presley Rhea, for creating the video this year!

And if you’re curious as to why I was verklempt at the end of the video, you can visit this link to read the story: http://bit.ly/SrSpotCT

The highest compliment you can give us is a referral to your friends and coworkers. Please share our registration and contact information with any families you think might be interested in participating in our program.

Each year we build on the previous year as we add to the curriculum.  We have many students who continue with us each season, from our Level 5 (5th grade) program through our Passport (High School) Program.  Our goal with the continuous exposure, and gentle reminders, of the courtesies we teach over consecutive years – is to assist you in raising well-mannered young adults.

  • Continued Exposure:  Just as continued exposure to athletics and school homework reaps rewards; continued exposure to the social skills taught in our program will provide lifelong lessons that will benefit your child throughout the classroom and into the boardroom.
  • Benefits and Rewards:  One of the biggest rewards of our students returning year after year, is the virtual ‘light bulb’ that seems to turn on and stay on; the students are really starting to get it and they are very proud of themselves.  Their confidence is building.  We’ve highlighted some of our graduating seniors on my blog at www.CareySueVega.com/?s=senior+spotlight

For more information click on the links below:
5-8th Grade Programs
9-12th Grade Programs
General Information
www.ExpeditionsInEtiquette.com

 

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Classes, Manner Monday, Senior Spotlight

Senior Spotlight: Audrey Stine

“I  participated in the Expeditions in Etiquette program for three years and was a Student Ambassador for one year. My favorite memory from the program was my first ball which took place in 2013. The first year that I was involved with Expeditions in Etiquette was my Sophomore year in High School, I absolutely did not want to do it, but after the ball at Gaillardia I was in love. This program has really helped me come out of my shell. I used to be shy and did not like dancing (especially in front of others.)  After realizing how much fun I had been having I went home and told my mom I have to go back!

My three favorite activities were; the civic center outing, learning how to eat a burger continental style, and the final ball at Gaillardia.” –  Audrey

It’s been a true pleasure getting to know you Audrey!  Yes, I remember when you showed up to the first event, you were pretty skeptical of the whole process!  :-)  So glad you gave us a chance!

Audrey Stine

To learn more about our programs such as the ones Audrey participated in, please visit:  http://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/programs/

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Classes, Senior Spotlight

Senior Spotlight: Channing Phillips

“For the past eight years I have had the privilege of being apart of the Expeditions in Etiquette program. In the fifth grade I did not think I was joining a program that would last a lifetime for me. It has allowed me to grow within myself and has given me new friends along the way. My favorite memory of this program would have to be the end of the year ball that consists of an evening of dinner and dancing. Along with that we add some fun games, one being the snow ball challenge. For me and many others the snow ball challenge is a great way to break the ice!
I have continued this program not because my mother insisted on it, but because I enjoyed every second of it. It has taught me so much whether it was a basic manner or two or just the confidence of speaking with my peers.
Throughout these years I have also been able to be an assistant for the younger students. I strongly encourage this opportunity because it opens many doors to other opportunities. I will miss every bit of this program and working with my peers. I hope to have the opportunity of revisiting and speaking to the future students of the Expeditions in Etiquette program.
I want to thank Mr. and Mrs. Vega for providing me with so much – I will definitely miss this great program!”
– Channing
And Channing… we will miss you too! It’s been a pleasure watching you grow and mature over the years! ‘Break-a-leg’ a Mizzou!!!
channing.SeniorPic

To learn more about our programs such as the ones Channing participated in, please visit:  http://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/programs/

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Classes, Senior Spotlight

Senior Spotlight: Presley Rhea

“I have been able to be part of Expeditions in Etiquette for 5 years and I wish that I could have participated for all 8 years. I have made some of the closest friends through the program with people that I would have never had the opportunity to meet otherwise.

Each year I found new questions to ask and how to handle specific situations that I may be put in throughout my life. Now I feel extremely confident entering into college knowing that I am prepared with the knowledge of etiquette that most of my peers will not have.

And if for some reason I don’t know the answer, I’ll keep Mrs. Vega on speed dial!”
-Presley Rhea

Absolutely Presley, you know you can always text or call!!! We look forward to keeping in touch!

Presley Rhea

To learn more about our programs such as the ones Presley participated in, please visit:  http://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/programs/

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Classes, Senior Spotlight

Senior Spotlight: Emily Hopper

“From the first class, I was introduced to Expeditions In Etiquette with Mrs. Vega’s welcoming smile that put me at ease. I had been taught to set table and to chew with my mouth closed at an early age but it wasn’t until participating in classes with Mrs. Vega that I learned the ‘why’ behind all of these things!  Immediately I was immersed into a class of great students who were truly happy to be there.”

Emily Hopper was very busy during her high school years.  In addition to her academic work she also found time to work toward a doula certification with DONA International and participate in several different clubs.  Emily even won a community service award for the club she and her sisters founded, Priceless Girlhood.  She also spent her time campaigning for various political candidates, volunteering, and working as a nanny and as a Student Ambassador for Expeditions in Etiquette.  Emily was recently asked to staff a week-long camp for TeenPact, a leadership class that teaches young people about our constitution and government.  Emily plans to spend the next year preparing for university and working part-time at OBA.

Emily Hopper

To learn more about our programs such as the ones Emily participated in, please visit:  http://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/programs/

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Classes, Senior Spotlight