Manner Monday®: Don’t let this Virus infect your office!

You provide hand sanitizer at every door and soap in all of the restrooms. You encourage employees to work out and to stay healthy. You work hard to keep employees healthy.

But unfortunately there is another virus that is spreading, and if it goes untreated, it too can hurt your bottom line… The Incivility Virus.

A recent University of Florida study found that mistreated people are also more likely to feel as if others are treating them rudely. They then respond with more rudeness, passing on negative emotions like a virus.

According to Trevor Foulk, the study’s lead author, “Rudeness has an incredibly powerful negative effect on the workplace.” The study was published recently in the Journal of Applied Psychology.

Just like secondhand smoke from cigarettes, the study found that disrespect also has harmful side effects. Participants who watched a video of an impolite workplace interaction and then answered an email from a fictitious customer were more likely to be discourteous in their responses than people who watched a video of a polite interaction.

“That tells us that rudeness will flavor the way you interpret ambiguous cues,” Foulk said.

Workplace Incivility can rear its ugly head in many places; there are three basic types:

  • Interpersonal – This might happen when someone doesn’t say thank you after you did something nice for them.
  • Cyber Incivility – sending time sensitive information without giving the recipient a heads up. Not responding to emails. Using abrupt or curt verbiage in emails that leave the receiver questioning the tone of delivery. Without tone of voice, there is unfortunately room for interpretation, and we may end up seeing the sender as being rude.
  • Victimless – this is the ‘leave it for someone else to do’ syndrome. Leaving the coffee pot empty, leaving a paper jam in the copier without trying to fix it or report it, throwing trash ‘close’ the receptacle and not picking it up to put it in the trashcan. Victimless incivility does not have an instant impact on others, but it definitely violates norms and expectations for courtesy.

Civility costs nothing but goes a long way in helping to keep employee moral healthy, and boost your bottom line. Here are a few tips to help cultivate civility in your office:

  • Lead by Example. Management has to be onboard and they have to model civility at all times. If employees see their boss being disrespectful, it sets an underlying tone that the behavior is acceptable.
  • Have a discussion during staff meeting. Have the staff establish the norms and expectations so that everyone is onboard and understands what is expected.
  • No one gets a hall pass. Put your foot down; stop it in its place, especially any recurring offenders. Everyone plays be the same rules, even your favorite ‘rock star’ on the team. If the other team members see that you gave Betty a hall pass because she’s the top salesman – that will only help to perpetuate the incivility virus.
  • ‘Don’t let crazy in the door.’ I heard that phrase one time from Dave Ramsey and I’ve thought about it many times since. Do your due diligence during the interview process. Take the potential new hire out to eat with their significant other and watch closely how they treat that person. Pay attention to how they interact with the wait staff. It’s much easier to find out before you hire someone if they’re disrespectful than after you’ve brought them ‘in the door’.

Continuing Education is a good thing, and Civility Training will help to keep the incivility virus at bay in your office. Please email or call to talk more about how I can offer beneficial training to your team.

Click to Tweet: Civility costs nothing but goes a long way in helping to keep employee moral healthy, and boost your bottom line. http://bit.ly/Incivility

Do you know someone who would benefit from this post?  If so, please share it with them and encourage them to sign up to receive Manner Monday?  I would appreciate it!  And if you’re new to Manner Monday, I’d love for you to take a minute to learn more about why I started it. You can click here to read my very first post (five years ago – yowzer) that tells all about it.

Do you have a ‘manner’ or question you would like to see covered in a post?  Feel free to send me your thoughts, I would love to hear from you.

As always – Thanks for reading!
– Carey Sue

incivility virus

Back to ‘Business’ School for Adults; are YOU ready for a great Continuing Education opportunity? The Executive Success Series begins in September.  Research shows that 85 percent of success in the business world hinges on your soft skills, and only 15 percent on your technical skills. Yet many people do not take the time to invest in the most critical part of their professional training, the crucial social skills that enhance your ability to communicate, negotiate, and lead which helps you build relationships and close deals. Are you ready to invest in your 85 percent?
Click here to register now, space is limited!  Registration closes Monday, August 31.

Youth Programs – Start SOON, don’t miss out!
Registration is under way for our 5-12th grade programs that start soon.  Register today!

For more information click on the links below:
5-8th Grade Programs
9-12th Grade Programs
General Information
www.ExpeditionsInEtiquette.com

Did you know we have products available?
We have a few of styles and designs of personalized youth stationery available.  We also have darling place mats that help the little ones in your life get a jump-start on their table manners and make dining more fun.  Here is the link to the shop.

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Business Etiquette, Classes, Etiquette, Manner Monday, Manners

Manner Monday®: #FamilyFunDay

We’ve heard from so many people who’ve paved the parenting path before us, talk about how we need to enjoy our time with our son as it goes by fast and before we know it, he’ll be grown up. So we’ve made a conscious effort to take advantage of our weekends together. We don’t always get to do fun family things every weekend, but we sure try as often as we can; and when we do, we call our little adventures #FamilyFunDay.

Quite often we get follow up questions from friends who have seen our posts on social media. They want to know what we did, where we went, and any tricks or tips we can share with them before they head out. Since we love sharing and we’re all about everyone else having fun too; I started a blog post series aptly titled #FamilyFunDay to document our adventures, tips, and ‘manners used’ for making the most of your day if you choose to take a similar adventure of your own.

For our son, we find outings are so much more successful when we have conversations BEFORE we get to where we’re going and give him an idea of what to expect. Even if we’ve never been there, we have a pretty good idea of some of the situations we may encounter and can prep him on manners to use and expected behavior. Does it always go as planned? No. Does he always use the manners we prep him with? No. Do we usually always have a great time and learn something along the way? Yes! So at the end of each post, I’ll also share ‘Manners Used’ which will hopefully serve as great talking points for you to discuss with your kiddos while you’re on the road.

So far, I have posts up about our adventures to:

I’ll be working to update the blog with some of our previous outings:

  • Beavers Bend
  • Stand Up Paddle Boarding
  • Foot Golf
  • Turkey Mountain (Hiking and Moutain Bike Riding)
  • Bluff Creek  (Walking, Hiking and Moutain Bike Riding)
  • Stanley Draper  (Hiking and Moutain Bike Riding)

If you would like to receive an email when a new blog post is live, you can do so on the right hand side of the blog.  There’s a place to enter your email and then a green button to press that will ‘subscribe’ you to future posts.

We’d love to hear recommendations from you for our next #FamilyFunDay Adventure.

If you liked this post, would you mind sharing it with someone else you think might enjoy it and encourage them to sign up to receive Manner Monday?  I would appreciate it!  And if you’re new to Manner Monday, I’d love for you to take a minute to learn more about why I started it. You can click here to read my very first post (five years ago – yowzer) that tells all about it.

Do you have a ‘manner’ or question you would like to see covered in a post?  Feel free to send me your thoughts, I would love to hear from you.

As always – Thanks for reading!
– Carey Sue

Click to Tweet: Catch #FamilyFunDay blog posts with tips, and ‘manners used’ for making the most of your day exploring. http://bit.ly/MMFamilyFunDay

IMG_8001

Back to ‘Business’ School for Adults; are YOU ready for a great Continuing Education opportunity? The Executive Success Series begins in September.  Research shows that 85 percent of success in the business world hinges on your soft skills, and only 15 percent on your technical skills. Yet many people do not take the time to invest in the most critical part of their professional training, the crucial social skills that enhance your ability to communicate, negotiate, and lead which helps you build relationships and close deals. Are you ready to invest in your 85 percent?
Click here to register now, space is limited!  Registration closes Monday, August 31.

Youth Programs – Start SOON, don’t miss out!
Registration is under way for our 5-12th grade programs that start soon.  Register today!

For more information click on the links below:
5-8th Grade Programs
9-12th Grade Programs
General Information
www.ExpeditionsInEtiquette.com

Did you know we have products available?
We have a few of styles and designs of personalized youth stationery available.  We also have darling place mats that help the little ones in your life get a jump-start on their table manners and make dining more fun.  Here is the link to the shop.

 

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#FamilyFunDay, Manner Monday, Manners

Manner Monday®: Back to School

Summer is over and it’s back-to-school time for the kiddos.

Please take a few minutes to remind the young people in your life how important it is to be aware of their surroundings and how easy it can be to help make the shy, or new, person feel more comfortable; not only during these first few weeks of school, but anytime during the year.  It’s amazing how the simple and easy act of eye contact, a smile, a sincere compliment or kind word can go a long way in making someone feel a bit more comfortable, confident, and welcomed.

They may even end up making a new “best friend”.

Click to Tweet: The simple act of eye contact, a smile, a sincere compliment or kind word go a long way in making someone feel welcomed. http://bit.ly/mmB2S

Speaking of Back to School; are YOU ready for a great Continuing Education opportunity? The Executive Success Series begins in September.  Research shows that 85 percent of success in the business world hinges on your soft skills, and only 15 percent on your technical skills. Yet many people do not take the time to invest in the most critical part of their professional training, the crucial social skills that enhance your ability to communicate, negotiate, and lead which helps you build relationships and close deals. Are you ready to invest in your 85 percent?
Click here to register now, space is limited!  Registration closes Monday, August 31.

If you liked this post, would you mind sharing it with someone else you think might enjoy it and encourage them to sign up to receive Manner Monday?  I would appreciate it!  And if you’re new to Manner Monday, I’d love for you to take a minute to learn more about why I started it. You can click here to read my very first post (five years ago – yowzer) that tells all about it.

Do you have a ‘manner’ or question you would like to see covered in a post?  Feel free to send me your thoughts, I would love to hear from you.

Youth Programs – Start SOON, don’t miss out!
Registration is under way for our 5-12th grade programs that start soon.  Register today!

For more information click on the links below:
5-8th Grade Programs
9-12th Grade Programs
General Information
www.ExpeditionsInEtiquette.com

Did you know we have products available?
We have a few of styles and designs of personalized youth stationery available.  We also have darling place mats that help the little ones in your life get a jump-start on their table manners and make dining more fun.  Here is the link to the shop.

As always – Thanks for reading!
– Carey Sue

Back to School

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Business Etiquette, Classes, Etiquette, Family, Manner Monday, Manners

Manner Monday®: ‘Should I wear Pantyhose?’

Pantyhose, to be or not to be – that is the question… that continually comes up when I’m speaking to Millenials. During a recent presentation, one of the young ladies asked about wearing pantyhose, aka ‘hosiery’, ‘stockings’ to an interview and did I recommend them.

I believe instead of being a rule of Etiquette or Protocol, it has evolved into something much more complicated. 
I personally think it boils down to a number of things:

  1. Before the interview, do some research on the company culture. If the atmosphere is conservative and traditional, then bust out the hose. If the organization is more casual and a bit on the trendy side, I’d say bare legs would be acceptable.
  2. Generational issues; if your Grandmother is a Traditionalist, she would not even consider stepping out in public with bare legs. Stockings are a must for her wardrobe! 
 So if you’ll be with a more ‘mature’ (meaning older) group, then out of respect I would don hosiery.
  3. Are your legs able to stand on their own without the gentle camouflage or support that stockings provide?
  4. Time of year – will your legs have goose bumps and be pasty … Summer – not a problem. Winter, bleh – opt for hosiery.
  5. Flat out preference – Some people feel more confident WITH stockings, other people can’t stand them.

My answer to her in the end was to do a bit of research. As she’s preparing for her interview and researching the company, go ahead and find out what the company culture is when it comes to dress code; and let that be her guide. And if there is any question, it’s best to err on the safe side and slip on some stockings.

After that, I suggested that all of the ladies search the Internet for pictures of the Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton! (Spoiler alert, she often wears hosiery!) I love her sense of style. She’s a great role model for young professional women in so many ways. And I love how she doesn’t have to break the bank to look good. You can easily find Kate’s preferred choice of pantyhose by googling the topic. In case you’re curious, they run about $9US. Sensible, smart and fashionable – she’s a great role model to follow for clothing cues.

Click to Tweet: Kate Middleton is a great role model for professional women looking for clothing cues! #MannerMonday http://bit.ly/ProfDressHosiery

If you found this post helpful, would you mind sharing it with someone else you think might enjoy it and encourage them to sign up to receive Manner Monday?  I would appreciate it!  And if you’re new to Manner Monday, I’d love for you to take a minute to learn more about why I started it. You can click here to read my very first post (five years ago – yowzer) that tells all about it.

Do you have a ‘manner’ or question you would like to see covered in a post?  Feel free to send me your thoughts, I would love to hear from you.

As always – Thanks for reading!
– Carey Sue

Hosiery

On another note…

Business Etiquette Training Opportunity 
Executive Success Series
Research shows that 85 percent of success in the business world hinges on your soft skills, and only 15 percent on your technical skills. Yet many people do not take the time to invest in the most critical part of their professional training, the crucial social skills that enhance your ability to communicate, negotiate, and lead which helps you build relationships and close deals. Are you ready to invest in your 85 percent?
Click here to register now, space is limited!
Registration closes Monday, August 31.

Youth Programs
Registration is under way for our 5-12th grade programs that start soon.  Don’t miss out – register today!

For more information click on the links below:
5-8th Grade Programs
9-12th Grade Programs
General Information
www.ExpeditionsInEtiquette.com

Did you know we have products available?
We have a few of styles and designs of personalized youth stationery available.  We also have darling place mats that help the little ones in your life get a jump-start on their table manners and make dining more fun.  Here is the link to the shop.

No comments | leave a comment
Business Etiquette, Etiquette, Fashion, Manner Monday, Manners

Manner Monday®: What’s the best way to enter my supervisor’s office?

During the InternOKC event sponsored by the Oklahoma City Chamber I spoke at recently, an intern asked a great question that I thought would be a good topic for Manner Monday.

Q – At work, what’s the best way to enter my supervisor’s office if I need to ask her something? Should I knock, say hello, or just walk on in if I need to speak to them? – Bridget

A – I would start by suggesting you have a conversation with your supervisor and ask her; does she prefer you interrupt when you have questions, or should you make a list and save questions for a specific time during the day. If they rather not to be interrupted, what do they prefer you do if you’re stuck and need their advice to advance on your task at hand. Should you put that task aside and go to a different one, or interrupt them? Having that conversation to establish ground rules will help you to know how best to proceed.

For other coworkers, it’s a bit more of a challenge as you’re not going to have that same conversation with every person in the office. In the world of business, we are all well aware of different ‘interruptions’ during our day.  They consist of everything from that little email ‘chime’ on our digital device, to telephones ringing (or vibrating), and coworkers stopping by for a chat.

A few years ago, my son was in the middle of some serious Lego construction.  He was humming and singing and having a grand time.  In my efforts to keep everyone ‘on schedule’, I was getting ready to start chatting with him to share what was on our ‘to-do’ list for the rest of the day.  Something stopped me in my tracks and I’m so glad it did… I decided my ‘interruption’ could wait, as it was obvious he was focused on the project in front of him.  He ended up working diligently for about 30 more minutes on his creation.  If I had interrupted him, I doubt the creation would have seen the light of day.

No matter the office environment, it seems when we need something, or just want to chat, it’s a matter of urgency and whatever our peers are working on at the time should take second priority. And most of us have the need to socialize, whether it is for brainstorming or just taking a much-needed break.  So often though, we don’t think about our colleagues and the impact it makes on them:  ‘are we interrupting’, ‘are they on a deadline and we’ve disrupted their thought patterns?’

To help answer Bridget’s question, here are some time-tested tips to keep in mind for treating all working spaces (office, cubicle, reception desk, etc.) with respect, creating a more pleasant working environment for everyone:

  • Eye Contact and Body Language speak volumes.  Did your co-worker make eye contact with you and does their body language say come on in?  Or are they politely sayingDoNotDisturb ‘Do Not Disturb’ by their lack of eye contact or body language.  Less eye contact should mean fewer interruptions.
  • If your colleague does not make eye contact and has their head buried, don’t interrupt.  Make a note of what you wanted to ask and come back later. When you do return,
    don’t immediately barge in with ‘I need’; ask if they finished their project.  And maybe even offer, how can you help them?
  • In office environments with cubicles, ‘prairie dogging’ has taken on a meaning of it’s own.  Don’t pop up and peep over the top of your cubicle wall and continue to carry on a conversation with someone.  Act as if the cubicle is an office with walls, and a ceiling, and treat it as such.

Sometimes interruptions can’t be avoided, and that’s understandable. But if they can be kept to a minimum, we’re doing our part to create an office atmosphere that is enjoyable for everyone.

If you found this post helpful, would you mind sharing it with someone else you think might enjoy it and encourage them to sign up to receive Manner Monday?  I would appreciate it! If you’re new to Manner Monday, I’d love for you to take a minute to learn more about why I started it. You can click here to read my very first post (five years ago – yowzer) that tells all about it.

Do you have a ‘manner’ or questions you would like to see covered on Manner Monday?  Feel free to send me your thoughts, I would love to hear from you.

As always – Thanks for reading!
– Carey Sue

Click to Tweet: Did your co-worker make eye contact, or is their body language politely saying ‘Do Not Disturb’? #MannerMonday http://bit.ly/supsoff

 

On another note…

Did you know we have products available?
We have a few of styles and designs of personalized youth stationery available.  We also have darling place mats that help the little ones in your life get a jump-start on their table manners and make dining more fun.  Here is the link to the shop.

Business Etiquette Training Opportunity 
Executive Success Series
Research shows that 85 percent of success in the business world hinges on your soft skills, and only 15 percent on your technical skills. Yet many people do not take the time to invest in the most critical part of their professional training, the crucial social skills that enhance your ability to communicate, negotiate, and lead which helps you build relationships and close deals. Are you ready to invest in your 85 percent?
Click here to register now, space is limited!

Youth Programs
Registration is under way for our 5-12th grade programs that start soon.  Don’t miss out – register today!

For more information click on the links below:
5-8th Grade Programs
9-12th Grade Programs
General Information
www.ExpeditionsInEtiquette.com

No comments | leave a comment
Business Etiquette, Etiquette, Manner Monday, Manners

Manner Monday®: Business ‘Thank-You Note’ Blueprint

Thank you so much for all of the kind words and encouragement after last weeks post on #30ThanksIn30Days! I can’t wait to check in with everyone who chimed ‘I’m in’ and see how you’re doing. I dug in one day and caught up on my list and now I’m having fun thinking of notes to send ‘just because’ – what a great feeling! Let’s see if I can keep the momentum going!

The post also prompted a great question from an emerging young professional that I thought was something others might enjoy as well…

Q – I saw your post about writing 30 thank you notes in 30 days and I have a few people I want to send notes to this week. I met a few new people at a networking event and would like to send a thank you note to follow up with them. I want to leave a good impression because I would like to work at their business upon graduation or possibly intern. ‬ ‪Do you have a couple of sample thank you notes that you have done in the past that you would not mind sharing? I am a student and heard you speak at an event last Spring. My goal is to get better at writing thank you letters and having a couple quality examples would help. I admire what you are doing and I am an advocate for a good hand written letter. ‬‪Thank You, ‬Danielle ‬

A – Yeah!!! I’m looking for the applause and party horn emojis from my phone to insert here! (I know they’re not for use in a professional environment, but I’m excited about her question and how she’s taking initiative!) I wrote a post a few years ago, when I was trying to come up with a fun way to encourage the young students I work with to write notes, that may be helpful. You can read it here 4-3-2-1. But let’s dig in a bit more on the topic…

Paper is Important
For starters, make sure you have some professional looking notes. Something plain and simple will do the trick. Save anything too ‘frilly’ for personal notes. The quality of your paper is also important. If you choose something really nice, like Crane, it just feels good in your hands and adds to the receiver’s experience. If you have time, click on this link to learn why Crane paper is so amazing.

Next, grab a good ink pen.
I personally like to use navy ink, and sometimes I even go for gold ink (but ONLY if the situation is right). Some say the blue ink stands out and is more memorable than basic black. Whichever ink color you choose, make sure the ink flows smoothly, doesn’t smudge, and doesn’t skip.

Type it out first.
Now this may sound counterintuitive, but give it a try. We’re used to typing and allowing our thoughts to flow freely. When we immediately start to write out a note – many times we don’t do it because we think, ‘what if I mess up’. By typing out your thoughts, you can cut and paste, reword, and rework your sentences before transferring them by hand to the note. Using this process, I personally get on a roll and end up working on multiple notes in one sitting. Then putting the pen to paper is not so ‘scary’ and it actually turns out to be a fun exercise.

Use their name.
Make sure you use their correct name and write it right. If they go by a nickname or their middle name and you use the wrong name, you’re defeating the purpose of the note, which is to make a connection and build a relationship. Take the time and do your research. If it’s a formal note and you’re addressing a senior executive, I would err on the side of ceremony and address them with the title, Dear Mr. or Ms. Smith. It will show that you value and respect the relationship and the process.

Express the appreciation.
Make sure you write in the present tense. Don’t be wishy-washy and say something like, “I just wanted to write to say that…” Be specific and straightforward. Highlight a point of conversation from the previous encounter, or certain skills you’re thankful the person taught you.

Thank you for taking the time to visit with me during the ABC event and sharing information about your company and career with me. (Adding anything specific they mentioned).

Explain why.
Be specific, don’t exaggerate, and be sincere with any compliments. And don’t bloviate (I love that word)

You can mention how what they shared with you will be beneficial to you moving forward or how you have already researched or applied what they told you. Make sure to maintain your focus on the person you are writing and on their generosity. This isn’t about you.

I researched your company and love the mission statement. I enjoyed reading about how your company has _____________.

Back to The Future
Refer to the past and the future.

I enjoyed meeting you and look forward to seeing you at the next ABC event.

Thank them again and sign off.
I literally end my notes with,

Thanks again.

Sincerely,
Carey Sue

Sometimes, I’ll use something less formal such as ‘cheers’, or ‘regards’. It depends on the person, the situation, and the tone of the note. Pick what feels most comfortable to you.

Make it a Habit.
I find my thank-you note writing goes in stages. I’ll be doing really well, then things get busy and I push it aside for ‘later’. If you make it a habit and schedule the time into your calendar on a regular basis, it will become second nature and will help to build your professional network like no other way!

Is anyone else ‘in’ for #30ThankIn30Days? If so, let me know how it’s going!

Danielle, I hope this helps! I would love to hear an update on the success of your note writing adventure!

If you found this post helpful, would you mind sharing it with someone else you think might enjoy it and encourage them to sign up to receive Manner Monday?  I would appreciate it!  Then leave a comment below with a comment to encourage other young professionals like Danielle about the importance of a hand-written note.

Click to Tweet: Business ‘Thank-you note’ Blueprint: Learn to make a connection and build relationship with your pen. #MannerMonday http://bit.ly/ThkUHow2

As always … Thanks for reading!
– Carey Sue

Thank-you-note-300x199.jpg

 

On another note…

Business Etiquette Training Opportunity –
Executive Success Series
Research shows that 85 percent of success in the business world hinges on your soft skills, and only 15 percent on your technical skills. Yet many people do not take the time to invest in the most critical part of their professional training, the crucial social skills that enhance your ability to communicate, negotiate, and lead which helps you build relationships and close deals. Are you ready to invest in your 85 percent?
Click here to register now, space is limited!

Youth Programs – 
Registration is under way for our 5-12th grade programs that start soon.  Don’t miss out – register today!

For more information click on the links below:
5-8th Grade Programs
9-12th Grade Programs
General Information
www.ExpeditionsInEtiquette.com

 

No comments | leave a comment
Business Etiquette, Manner Monday

Manner Monday®: Finding Time, #30ThanksIn30Days

During a recent Trade Show Booth training I developed for a company that participates in a wide variety of shows throughout the year; the question arose about ‘finding time’ to write business related thank-you notes which prompted me to ‘take a look in the mirror’!

We’re all busy, I totally get it!  I have a list (a growing list) of thank-you notes to write.  For adults, I really think it boils down to psychology… as children we were expected to write thank you notes for gifts; it was a duty, it was an obligation.  If we could change our thinking and look at the art of the handwritten note as an opportunity to show true gratitude, I think it might help us to change gears and get some momentum going behind writing those notes.  Taking just a few minutes out of our day to share with someone how thankful we are for them; yes, it takes time, but think about how it makes the recipient who receives the note feel.  Aren’t they worth our time?

I’ve written about it here, here, and here, and have even shared 4 easy steps to make writing notes a breeze.  My son even gets it.  But yet, am I great at it?  Nope.  I definitely have room to grow in this category!  After the discussion that took place during the training, I decided I need some motivation myself to get working on that growing list of gratitude I’ve been ‘intending’ to tackle.  So I’m going to set a goal, I’m going to start with 30 notes over the next 30 days.  Are you interested, would you like to join me?  Together, lets figure out how to carve out just a few minutes from our day to put pen to paper and show thanks. Hop over to the Facebook page, Twitter, Instagram, Periscope (wherever you want) and put it out there, I’m using the hashtag #30ThanksIn30Days to get the conversation started and to help keep me accountable.  So if you see me over the next 30 days, please don’t hesitate to ask me how it’s going!

Click to Tweet:  Who’s with me? Let’s do this, #30ThanksIn30Days. #ThankYouNotes #MannerMonday http://bit.ly/30ThanksIn30Days

#30ThanksIn30Days

As always, thanks for reading!
– Carey Sue

 

On another note…

Business Etiquette Training Opportunity –
Executive Success Series
Research shows that 85 percent of success in the business world hinges on your soft skills, and only 15 percent on your technical skills. Yet many people do not take the time to invest in the most critical part of their professional training, the crucial social skills that enhance your ability to communicate, negotiate, and lead which helps you build relationships and close deals. Are you ready to invest in your 85 percent?
Click here to register now, space is limited!

 

Youth Programs – 
Registration is under way for our 5-12th grade programs that start soon.  Don’t miss out – register today!

For more information click on the links below:
5-8th Grade Programs
9-12th Grade Programs
General Information
www.ExpeditionsInEtiquette.com

No comments | leave a comment
Business Etiquette, Manner Monday, Manners

Manner Monday: Post Cards

With the Fourth of July fast approaching, many people in the States will be heading out for family vacation.  My friend and fellow Etiquette Expert Mindy Lockard, aka The Gracious Girl, was gracious enough to write a previous post about the Power of Post Cards.  Her words were such an inspiration for us that every time we travel, we try to send a few!

In case you missed it, click here to catch her guest post.

Postcards

As always, thanks for reading!
– Carey Sue

 

On another note…

Registration is under way for our 5-12th grade programs that start soon.  Don’t miss out – register today!

For more information click on the links below:
5-8th Grade Programs
9-12th Grade Programs
General Information
www.ExpeditionsInEtiquette.com

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Family, Guest Blogger, Manner Monday, Manners

Manner Monday®: Manners and Etiquette, it’s about Hospitality not Formality

I love my job as an Etiquette Expert!  I love almost everything about it.  One of the only things I don’t like are the ‘assumptions’ associated with the title.  After getting to know someone new, they confess how they thought that I’m “Polly Perfect” all of the time.  I’m happy to announce for anyone wondering… I’m not! Just ask any of my friends 😉

I’m on a mission to debunk the notion that Etiquette is about Perfection.  I like to think of Manners and Etiquette more along the lines of Hospitality not Formality.  Yes, there are rules involved, but those rules are in place to make people feel comfortable and confident.  If we’ll start thinking of Manners and Etiquette from a perspective of Hospitality vs. Formality, then we’ll be in a better position to make others feel comfortable vs. uncomfortable.

Knowing the rules of etiquette does not give you a ‘hall pass’ to correct someone else’s mannerly misstep. If anything it arms you with the grace and knowledge to know you don’t point out the mistake and instead, it’s ‘Move along, there’s nothing to see here’.  

When I speak to groups and ask them what they think of when the hear the words ‘Manners’ and ‘Etiquette’, I’m usually met with answers like:

  • ‘snobby’
  • ‘rich’
  • ‘old school’
  • ‘rules’
  • ‘stuck up’

Those are the LAST things I want people thinking of when it comes to manners and etiquette!

I then ask the group to tell me words that come to mind when they hear the term ‘Hospitality’.  And I get answers such as:

  • ‘inviting’
  • ‘generous’
  • ‘warm’
  • ‘welcoming’
  • ‘making people feel comfortable’

Now, we’re talking! By implementing and practicing the rules of manners and etiquette, we end up making others around us feel comfortable. We treat them with respect; we make them feel comfortable. That’s what it’s all about, hospitality not formality!

Just in case you don’t believe me… a ‘picture’s worth a thousand words':

This is the day one of our students dropped something off at our house.  She looked a little shocked when I opened the door in ‘workout gear’.  I guess she thinks I wear heels and pearls around the house all day :-)

normal tennis shoes

Here I am with the ‘Hub’ and ‘Cub’ and a Scouting trip.  Yes, I camped in a tent!!!

normal hiking

Click to Tweet:  Manners and Etiquette; it’s about Hospitality not Formality! #MannerMonday http://bit.ly/HospVSForm

 

Thanks for reading!!!
– Carey Sue

On another note…

Registration is under way for our 5-12th grade programs that start soon.  Don’t miss out – register today!

For more information click on the links below:
5-8th Grade Programs
9-12th Grade Programs
General Information
www.ExpeditionsInEtiquette.com

No comments | leave a comment
Classes, Etiquette, Family, Manner Monday, Manners

Manner Monday®: Practice, Practice, Practice… even with Manners

I receive phone calls on a regular basis from moms with young children wanting to know if we offer programs for younger kids (our programs currently start for 5th graders and go all of the way up to grown adults). The callers are always asking for tips on how to get their little ones to sit through dinner and to use their table manners.  I find myself answering time and time again… practice, practice, practice.  As a parent, we have to start somewhere by setting Expectations, providing an opportunity to Practice, and Repeat.

Start off by asking yourself what are your expectations?  Keeping in mind that the expectations need to be in line with our child’s age and social development; if your kiddo is a toddler, what can you truly and reasonable expect of him? Whatever the desired outcome is, it’s not going to happen overnight – but it will happen over a series of many nights, and many meals. Practice.

Think about it in relation to dance or sports.  You would not send your son to his first t-ball game without going to practice first.  You wouldn’t let your daughter participate in a recital without first attending dance class.  Same with table manners, you can’t expect your child to ‘perform’ at Grandma’s house or out to eat at restaurant if you haven’t given them the tools to be successful.

We still have a LONG road ahead of us with our 9 year old.  But I was tickled pink to see him stepping up to the plate and knocking it out of the park during our recent cruise.  When we went to dinner in the dining room, he looked the waiter in the eye when placing his order.

BV ordering

He stayed seated (what!?!?!?)… at home I keep threatening super glue for his seat to keep him in his chair at dinner time.  He said ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ to the waiter and other crew members. And, he used his silverware like a little human.

BV cutting food

Was he perfect?  Absolutely not.  Did he meet the age-appropriate expectations, pretty darn close!  I’m not going to lie… super proud mom moments!

Something we find tremendously helpful is having conversations prior to ‘performance’.  During these conversations we talk about our expectations and ask questions; we talk about what’s getting ready to take place. We’re setting him up for success by giving him a preview, kind of like a dress rehearsal, or practice. Do we still have to prompt him? … Yes. But for the most part, it works! Here’s a picture of the process working.  One night we were lucky enough to enjoy dinner with our friend, Tommy, we used to work with on cruise ships years ago.  Before the dinner, we explained to our son that there might be times during the conversation that he may get bored; and if that happened, what could he do to entertain himself. So we put pen and paper in my purse, and he knew he could help himself to it.  And he did!  We also let him head off to the kids club after he finished his meal.  For us, sitting and chatting for an hour and half is fun.  For a kid – that’s painful.

Dinner with Captain Tommy

And just in case we were feeling a bit too ‘proud’… we were brought back to reality when we returned home and he commenced to standing up while eating and randomly walking around the table… it’s a constant learning process; Practice, practice, practice!!!

I’d love to hear – what are your favorite tips to set your kiddo up for success when it comes to table manners?

Click to Tweet:  You can’t expect your child to ‘perform’ good manners if you haven’t armed them with tools for success. bit.ly/TblMnnrs #MannerMonday

And always… thanks for reading!
– Carey Sue


On another note…

Have you seen our end of the season video yet?  Thank you to one of our Student Ambassadors, Presley Rhea, for creating the video this year!

And if you’re curious as to why I was verklempt at the end of the video, you can visit this link to read the story: http://bit.ly/SrSpotCT

The highest compliment you can give us is a referral to your friends and coworkers. Please share our registration and contact information with any families you think might be interested in participating in our program.

Each year we build on the previous year as we add to the curriculum.  We have many students who continue with us each season, from our Level 5 (5th grade) program through our Passport (High School) Program.  Our goal with the continuous exposure, and gentle reminders, of the courtesies we teach over consecutive years – is to assist you in raising well-mannered young adults.

  • Continued Exposure:  Just as continued exposure to athletics and school homework reaps rewards; continued exposure to the social skills taught in our program will provide lifelong lessons that will benefit your child throughout the classroom and into the boardroom.
  • Benefits and Rewards:  One of the biggest rewards of our students returning year after year, is the virtual ‘light bulb’ that seems to turn on and stay on; the students are really starting to get it and they are very proud of themselves.  Their confidence is building.  We’ve highlighted some of our graduating seniors on my blog at www.CareySueVega.com/?s=senior+spotlight

For more information click on the links below:
5-8th Grade Programs
9-12th Grade Programs
General Information
www.ExpeditionsInEtiquette.com

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Cruise Ships, Etiquette, Family, Family Dinner, Manner Monday, Manners