Manner Monday®: Don’t get fired after your Holiday Party this year!

It’s the season of Christmas and Holiday Parties!  Whether it’s a social gathering or a company celebration, parties are on the calendar and people are celebrating.  If you have the company party to attend, you may be interested in a previous Podcast Jessica Miller-Merrell of Blogging For Jobs hosted where we talked about How To Not Get Fired At Your Holiday Party.

As silly as it sounds, some really smart and normal people make bad choices after having too many adult beverages at the company party and, well… you know the rest of the story. I think we all have a story we could share, and some of those stories may hit a little close to home.  If so, it may be worth throwing yourself under the proverbial bus to share that story with a junior colleague who you may be mentoring, to hopefully keep him or her from doing the same thing.

Podcast:  click here for the link to the podcast with Jessica.

And here are some tips that may be helpful as well as you head out to the company party:

  1. Technology – Steer clear of excessive use of technology at the table or gathering.  This is a time for good old-fashioned “face-time”.
  2. No Show – Unless you have a legitimate excuse like the flu, you should always attend the office party. 
  3. Low Show – Use good judgment when you dress for an office or holiday party. Don’t wear something too casual like jeans. Women should avoid low-cut blouses and short, tight skirts or dresses.
  4. Watch Your Mouth – Remember the office party is an office function, so don’t be negative, tell inappropriate jokes or bring up controversial topics. You never know who will be there, such as a current or potential client.
  5. Flirting – Don’t even think about it!!  Your job is at stake here.
  6. Too Much Fun – Remember that office holiday parties are still an office function. Limit yourself to one or two drinks.
  7. Mix and Mingle – Refrain from holding court in the corner with your bestie.  Parties provide a great opportunity to meet new people and visit with others you don’t get to see very often.
  8. RSVP – You should always RSVP.  Pay close attention to how the invitation was addressed; you should never bring a child or guest who was not invited and who you didn’t RSVP for in advance.
  9. Hostess Gift – When attending a party or function in someone’s home, take a hostess gift. It can be a traditional holiday goody or something more unique like a book for the host’s child.
  10. Thank You Notes – Don’t forget to write – not e-mail – thank you notes for gifts and to party hosts.  This may seem archaic, but it it’s a little gesture that makes a huge impact.  When’s the last time you received a hand-written note?

By keeping these tips in mind you will be remembered for all of the right reasons… and you will save yourself from headlining the Monday morning water cooler gossip.

Click to Tweet:  Tips to save yourself from headlining the Monday morning water cooler gossip after the company party! #MannerMonday http://bit.ly/HolPrty

Do you know someone who would enjoy this post?  If so, please share it with them and encourage them to sign up to receive Manner Monday?  I would appreciate it!  And if you’re new to Manner Monday, I’d love for you to take a minute to learn more about why I started it. You can click here to read my very first post that tells all about it.

Do you have a ‘manner’ or question you would like to see covered in a post?  Feel free to send me your thoughts, I would love to hear from you.

As always, thanks for reading!
– Carey Sue

wine glasses


In other news….

Passport (9-12th Grade) Program
Our High School events begin soon!

  • Passport (9-12th Grade) Program registration online via:  https://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/programs/high-school

Business Etiquette Training and other Workshops
Would you like to schedule a workshop or presentation?

I have a variety of workshops that can be customized to fit your needs.  Please call or email for more information, 405-721-1467 or CareySue@CareySueVega.com

Here are just a few of the workshop topics:

  • Etiquette and the Generations – understanding ‘those guys’
  • Creating a Great Customer Service Experience
  • Business Etiquette and Professionalism – Navigating Lunch and Networking Events
  • Dude your Rude! Interoffice civility awareness and team building
  • First and Lasting Impressions
  • Professional Dress
  • Trade Show Booth Training

Word of Mouth is the best compliment you can give us.  Do you know of some who may be interested in our programs, please share our information with them.  Here is the best link to share with them, it covers everything in a nutshell:  https://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/programs/

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Business Etiquette, Etiquette, Hostess Gifts, Manner Monday, Manners

Manner Monday®: Thanksgiving Tips to survive the Holiday

With the Holidays fast approaching, many people will be sitting down to ‘break bread’ with a number of extended family members.  Oftentimes, this includes ‘unfamiliar’ family members.  Not too many of us actually enjoy that awkward moment of ‘what am I going to say’ or being stuck in an uncomfortable moment when the conversation isn’t flowing as freely as we would like for it to.  Spend some time now (or on that long car ride) with your immediate family to work on ‘comfortable conversation’ starters – so hopefully you won’t be stuck in an ‘uncomfortable conversation’.

If you’re hosting this year, here are some helpful tips to make sure things go as smooth as possible when it comes to creating comfortable conversation opportunities:

Assigned Seating:  It helps to take the guess work out of where everyone will sit and you’re also able to corral “Uncle Tom” between you and your sister… who will be able to help you keep him in check.

Table Setting Tips:  If you’re tasked with setting the table, check out this previous post with details to make it fun and easy!

Place Cards:  You can use something as simple as a piece of card stock, or you can do something fun such as a pinecone with the persons name tied to it with construction paper or ribbon.  You can also do something a bit more special such as a mini picture frame with your guest’s name, or photo, in it that they can take home with them as cherished memento.  If you have a little one, have them get in on the place card task; they love being included and can add an artistic touch that everyone will appreciate.

Conversation starters:  Another benefit of place cards, you can place a question on each place card that helps to get the conversation going.  Planting questions is a fabulous way to get the family talking and to share stories from ‘days gone by’ and create wonderful family memories you will treasure for a lifetime.

Here are some sample questions:

  • Ask an ‘older’ relative (grandparent, aunt, uncle or friend) what they remember about:
    • the invention of ‘cell phones’ and what did it look like?
    • What were their telephone ‘rules’ in the house before cell phones?
    • Before text and email, how did they send correspondence to friends and family. Did they have a ‘pen pal’?
    • Landline phones that were attached to the wall via a cord Party lines.
  •  Tell us about your favorite childhood Thanksgiving memory.
  • What was life like before Cell Phones and DVRs?
  • What are you most thankful for this year?
  • What is your most memorable school picture?
  • What special childhood memory do you have of a family member who is no longer with us?
  • What luxuries do you take for granted and why are you thankful for them?
  • Which teacher were you most grateful for?
  • What is your favorite memory from grade school?
  • How did you meet?  Tell us about your first date.  (This is a great one for the Grandparents.)
  • What family recipe reminds you of something special?
  • Tell about a time when you were reminded “it’s better to give than receive”.
  • Thinking of the pilgrims and their adventure, what do you think it would be like to leave everyone and everything behind and move to a new country…without a job secured?
  • What’s the biggest risk you’ve taken in your life?
  • What do you appreciate most about the person on your right?

As people are answering their questions, think of saying things such as “tell us more” instead of cutting them short to share your version or answer.

Turn the TV off and leave your cell phone at the front door (or in the car).  Take this time to focus on good old-fashioned ‘face-time’!

Click to Tweet:  Thanksgiving is a time to turn off the technology and focus on good old-fashioned ‘face-time’! #MannerMonday http://bit.ly/thxgvgtips

And if you’re hosting and a little stressed about the details, here are more tips on Planning the Perfectly Imperfect Party.

What are your tricks to keeping the conversation comfortable at your Thanksgiving table?  Please leave a comment below to share your tips and stories.

Happy Thanksgiving!  … and may the conversation be comfortable!

Do you know someone who would enjoy this post?  If so, please share it with them and encourage them to sign up to receive Manner Monday?  I would appreciate it!  And if you’re new to Manner Monday, I’d love for you to take a minute to learn more about why I started it. You can click here to read my very first post that tells all about it.

Do you have a ‘manner’ or question you would like to see covered in a post?  Feel free to send me your thoughts, I would love to hear from you.

As always, thanks for reading!
– Carey Sue

Thanksgiving Table


In other news….

Passport (9-12th Grade) Program
Our High School events begin soon!

  • Passport (9-12th Grade) Program registration online via:  https://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/programs/high-school

Business Etiquette Training and other Workshops
Would you like to schedule a workshop or presentation?

I have a variety of workshops that can be customized to fit your needs.  Please call or email for more information, 405-721-1467 or CareySue@CareySueVega.com

Here are just a few of the workshop topics:

  • Etiquette and the Generations – understanding ‘those guys’
  • Creating a Great Customer Service Experience
  • Business Etiquette and Professionalism – Navigating Lunch and Networking Events
  • Dude your Rude! Interoffice civility awareness and team building
  • First and Lasting Impressions
  • Professional Dress
  • Trade Show Booth Training

Word of Mouth is the best compliment you can give us.  Do you know of some who may be interested in our programs, please share our information with them.  Here is the best link to share with them, it covers everything in a nutshell:  https://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/programs/

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Etiquette, Family, Family Dinner, Manner Monday, Manners

Manner Monday®: Gift Wrapping 101 for Kids

Gift-wrapping was my first job as a teen… so as I’ve started teaching my son how to gift-wrap, I’ve had to dig down deep and let it go (sorry for getting that stuck in your head). As much as I want packages to be pretty and perfect, I realized I wasn’t doing my son any favors by doing all of this for him. I wanted to teach him the real meaning behind gift giving – gratitude, joy, and a cheerful heart. Teaching him how to RSVP, pick out a gift, wrap it and be a gracious guest has been WAY more fun than me wrapping the picture perfect package!

If you’re up for the challenge, we’ve laid out the process to get the party started.

RSVP
When an invitation arrives, share it with your kiddo. Look at your calendar together and determine if they’re able to attend. If they are, let them take care of the RSVP.   Teaching them early on about the importance of the RSVP process will go along way in creating a good habit to carry on after they’ve left home.

The Gift
Next, give them a budget and let them pick out the gift. Budget… hello, I still need help with budgeting, so I’m trying to get him thinking about how much money can be spent for special occasions and gifts. This is also a great exercise in focusing on others – it takes a few times, but eventually they realize, ‘no’ they’re not getting something for themselves, they’re choosing a present for someone else. This is the gift of learning that it’s not always about them.

1PickingTheGift

It’s a Wrap
Now whip out the wrapping supplies and teach them to wrap!  And yes, singing is half the fun (as you can tell in the video towards the end of this post).

2GettingSupplies

Lay the gift out on the wrapping paper to determine how much you’ll need.

3Measuring

Make sure you have some overlap with the paper – then cut.

4Cutting

Add some tape to keep the paper in place.

5Taping

Then fold the edges…

7FoldingCorners

Forget the perfect corners and blind seams, enjoy the process and let go of perfectionism (continued reminder to self).

8AndFolding

9MoreFolding

And yes, more tape!!!

10AndMoreTaping

11Taping

Did I mention tape? :-)

15DidIMentionTape?

Now it’s time for the bow…

14TimeForTheBow

And then we decided to switch to video for the bow… I hope you enjoy the sound effects:

Word
On the way to the birthday party, talk about party manners and expectations. Role-play how to thank the hosts (the parents and the birthday kiddo) for inviting you to the party. Then role-play what to say when leaving the party. We’ve come up with a hand signal for our son, I’m not really sure how it even started, but if he needs a gentle reminder, we can subtly flash him the sign and he’s reminded of what to do.

Seeing the smile on his face after accomplishing the task is WAY more fun than me wrapping the picture perfect package!

16HappyBoy

 

Click to tweet:  Teaching my kiddo how to wrap a gift has been WAY more fun than me wrapping the perfect package! #MannerMonday http://bit.ly/GiftWrapKids101

Do you know someone who would enjoy this post?  If so, please share it with them and encourage them to sign up to receive Manner Monday?  I would appreciate it!  And if you’re new to Manner Monday, I’d love for you to take a minute to learn more about why I started it. You can click here to read my very first post that tells all about it.

Do you have a ‘manner’ or question you would like to see covered in a post?  Feel free to send me your thoughts, I would love to hear from you.

As always; Thanks for reading!
– Carey Sue


Etc…

Do you know of a high schooler who would benefit from improved social skills, confidence (the right kind of confidence) and better manners?

We need a few more Adult Interviewers:  if you would like to help us during the mock interviews, please let me know, we would love to have you serve as a roll model for these students.  Your services would be needed on Thursday, November 19, from 6:30-8:30pm.  You will get to meet some amazing young people that will give you encouragement for our future!

Passport Program: 
The Passport Program schedule has been set!  Early registration is available with a $50 savings off tuition:  https://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/passport-high-school-registration/

Word of Mouth is the best compliment you can give us.  Do you know of some who may be interested in our programs, please share our information with them.  Here is the best link to share with them, it covers everything in a nutshell:  https://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/programs/

No comments | leave a comment
Etiquette, Family, Hostess Gifts, Manner Monday, Manners

Manner Monday®: Veterans Day

They are often easily identifiable by their military uniform.  We see them all of the time, men and women who serve our country out and about in our community.  We also see them in airports traveling to and from various assignments.

Our Veteran’s usually aren’t so easy to spot as they now have the luxury of wearing civilian clothes.  Take a few minutes this Veterans Day to thank someone you know who has served (or is currently serving) our country.  If you’re interested in hearing stories about their experience, keep in mind that veteran’s experiences vary widely and a request for a story could easily stir up a range of emotions.  Some will be excited and comfortable to share stories and experiences about their service.  For others, asking them to share a story may place them in an awkward and uncomfortable situation.  Start by taking the time to reach out and “thank” them for their time and commitment.  If they offer to share a story or experience, treasure every minute and every word they share with you… It’s a pretty big deal!

Click to Tweet:  Veteran’s experiences vary widely and a request for a story could easily stir up a range of emotions. #MannerMonday http://bit.ly/VetHon

Speaking of a ‘pretty big deal’, we were lucky enough to attend a promotion ceremony for a close family friend who is a Lieutenant Colonel in the United States Air Force.  What a great opportunity to teach our son about reverence and respect for our country first hand.

Thank you Scott for your service:

IMG_7537

IMG_7544

Do you know someone who would enjoy this post?  If so, please share it with them and encourage them to sign up to receive Manner Monday?  I would appreciate it!  And if you’re new to Manner Monday, I’d love for you to take a minute to learn more about why I started it. You can click here to read my very first post that tells all about it.

Do you have a ‘manner’ or question you would like to see covered in a post?  Feel free to send me your thoughts, I would love to hear from you.

As always; Thanks for reading!
– Carey Sue


Etc…

Do you know of a high schooler who would benefit from improved social skills, confidence (the right kind of confidence) and better manners?

We need a few more Adult Interviewers:  if you would like to help us during the mock interviews, please let me know, we would love to have you serve as a roll model for these students.  Your services would be needed on Thursday, November 19, from 6:30-8:30pm.  You will get to meet some amazing young people that will give you encouragement for our future!

Passport Program: 
The Passport Program schedule has been set!  Early registration is available with a $50 savings off tuition:  https://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/passport-high-school-registration/

Word of Mouth is the best compliment you can give us.  Do you know of some who may be interested in our programs, please share our information with them.  Here is the best link to share with them, it covers everything in a nutshell:  https://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/programs/

No comments | leave a comment
Etiquette, Manner Monday, Manners

Manner Monday®: Special Holidays as a Solo Parent

Today’s post is written by a lady I’ve come to know over the past 8 years as her children have been in class with me.  She is funny, she is witty, and she is amazingly strong.  She became a widow in 2012 and has been navigating the world of solo parenting with incredible grace.  With the Holiday’s fast approaching, I thought her words were not only perfect for solo parents, but for all parents.

I hope you enjoy “Special Holidays as a Solo Parent” by Elizabeth Kay Dyer:

I sat there, no gifts to open. It was Christmas morning, and we had just survived the most difficult year of our lives. Each of my six children had something to open. I did too, but it was little things I bought myself to open. I couldn’t figure out what was making me feel sad about the gifts, but as the day wore on, it dawned on me. Since I was a widow, no one was even around to bring out that last minute surprise gift for me. Even though I bought little things for myself every year, this year felt very different.

As the winter break from school continued, I did a lot of thinking. Ideas swirled around in the empty space where my brain used to be. Like a light turning on, an idea I believe came from God, sprang up and grew as I gave it more time.

What if I let each of my kids choose a holiday to be in charge of getting a gift for me? At dinner one evening I laid my idea out for them. “I want your birthday!” “I will take Valentine’s.” “Hey, I want Christmas!” “I guess I can do Mother’s Day!”

And that is how my plan took flight. I explained to the “crew” that dad was no longer available to take them shopping or show them how to consider what I might like want. They would have to listen to clues I say about what I might like or pay attention to things I appreciate. They have no father on earth now to teach them gift-giving skills so it is up to me to teach them this.

The second year progressed much better than that first year. Valentine’s Day arrived with the teen boy and the pre-teen girl choosing jewelry they thought I would appreciate. My birthday was the next event and the other teen son came up with his own secret plan. He had been helping in the youth room over spring break where he found a lovely framed Bible verse he just knew I would love. And he was right! It meant so much to me that he had to look at an item and ask himself, “What would my mom think of this picture? Could I picture it hanging in our home?” Then came Mother’s Day. The pre-teen daughter used some cash and had her college brother take her to the mall. The last event was Christmas. Were they going to be able to pull it off? Yes, there was a gift (chosen for me, NOT by me) wrapped and under the tree.

I believe this plan has given my children several advantages:

  • they are learning to think about someone other than themselves,
  • they are learning to shop with a limit,
  • they are learning to work together with the siblings,
  • they are planning ahead,
  • and they are learning a skill to take into adulthood.

Don’t just sit there on Valentine’s Day or your birthday, feeling sad because you don’t have a gift to open. Enlist your children, young or old. You do so much for the family — they can certainly give this a little effort for just several days on the calendar. If your children are small, I know your girlfriend or family member would be thrilled to take them to the dollar store to find an item you will treasure for years to come. The point isn’t the amount of money spent on you, the point is their putting in the thought and effort, doing something for someone.

Gift-giving is a skill needing to be taught. Embrace it as you do teaching shoe tying or bed making.

Click to Tweet:  Gift-giving is a skill needing to be taught. Embrace it as you do teaching shoe tying or bed making. #MannerMonday http://bit.ly/SoloParent

Liz – thank you so much for sharing your words and your heart with us today!  The skill of gift-giving is something we all need to teach our kiddos. Hopefully your words will help all of us to be more away and have an eye open to help our friends who may be solo parenting and need the extra hand.

Do you know someone who would benefit from this post?  If so, please share it with them and encourage them to sign up to receive Manner Monday?  I would appreciate it!  And if you’re new to Manner Monday, I’d love for you to take a minute to learn more about why I started it. You can click here to read my very first post that tells all about it.

Do you have a ‘manner’ or question you would like to see covered in a post?  Feel free to send me your thoughts, I would love to hear from you.

As always; Thanks for reading!
– Carey Sue

LizDyerAbout Elizabeth Kay Dyer:  Liz is a contributing writer and speaker for aNew Season Ministries. She raises six children (named after biblical characters) in the Oklahoma City area, along with a large black dog (named after a grandfather), a noisy cat (named after a race car driver), and two guinea pigs (named after yummy snacks). She was widowed in 2012 and is learning to navigate life as a solo parent. You can follow her on her ministry page at www.anewseason.net or her personal blog at www.dyerhalfdozen.wordpress.com Liz is eager to share her story at conferences and retreats, and is available to speak at your next women’s event. Please contact her at elizabethkaydyer@gmail.com


Etc…

Do you know of a high schooler who would benefit from improved social skills, confidence (the right kind of confidence) and better manners?

We need a few more Adult Interviewers:  if you would like to help us during the mock interviews, please let me know, we would love to have you serve as a roll model for these students.  Your services would be needed on Thursday, November 19, from 6:30-8:30pm.  You will get to meet some amazing young people that will give you encouragement for our future!

Passport Program: 
The Passport Program schedule has been set!  Early registration is available with a $50 savings off tuition:  https://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/passport-high-school-registration/

Word of Mouth is the best compliment you can give us.  Do you know of some who may be interested in our programs, please share our information with them.  Here is the best link to share with them, it covers everything in a nutshell:  https://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/programs/

 

No comments | leave a comment
Etiquette, Family, Manner Monday, Manners

Manner Monday®: The Cancer Conversation – Actions that help a cancer patient on their journey

Thanks for joining us for Part Three of our three tart “Cancer Conversation” series.  With October being Breast Cancer Awareness Month; I’ve asked Janet McLain, Co-founder and Guide of Cancierge to share some helpful tips with us about getting The Cancer Conversation started. During the series, Janet is going to share tips on ‘what to say’, ‘advice to those with a loved one or friend touched by cancer’, and ‘actions that help a cancer patient on their journey’.  To learn more about Janet and Dr. Laura Miles, please visit www.Cancierge.org.

Here’s Janet with her advice to those with a loved one or friend touched by cancer

You walk into a doctor’s office, hear the dreaded word “cancer,” watch as the knowledgeable doctor and the caring nurses talk about your survival plan, and return home with a dictionary sized volume of information that you are supposed to mull over to answer the questions that your wilted brain might conjure. They might as well have told you that you had to climb Mount Everest without training or a Sherpa. Overwhelmed would be an understatement. This is the moment that actions speak louder than words.

A well-meaning friend says, “Just let me know what you need.” WOW…you have NO idea what you need. Your mind is swimming with so many details that it is truly impossible to know what you need. As their friend or loved one, you need to take the lead.

Here are some suggestions that were truly helpful during my recovery.

  • Be their communications liaison. Set up a caring bridge account, a private Facebook page, or a simple e-mail chain to inform the many people who are concerned about their cancer “walk about”. Sidebar…personally I am so tired of the word journey!
  • Set up a meal train. Make sure to ask for preferences. Set an ice chest outside the front door for the meals to be placed so the survivor is not disturbed if resting.
  • Purchase a meaningful gift. Scarves, gift certificate for a wig, sleep hats, funny books and cards are loving items that will be appreciated.
  • Invite your friend to do normal activities. A manicure, massage, or trips to the movie theatre are outings that are welcome to break up the monotony.

The cancer patient wants to feel and be treated as normally as possible. Just be yourself and remember to include a lot of laughs!

Wow – thanks again Janet;  this series has been amazing! I truly appreciate you sharing your gift with us and helping us to find the words and actions to help those we love navigate the process.

Do you know someone who would benefit from this post?  If so, please share it with them and encourage them to sign up to receive Manner Monday?  I would appreciate it!  And if you’re new to Manner Monday, I’d love for you to take a minute to learn more about why I started it. You can click here to read my very first post that tells all about it.

Do you have a ‘manner’ or question you would like to see covered in a post?  Feel free to send me your thoughts, I would love to hear from you.

Click to Tweet: Do you have a friend with cancer? Don’t ask what they need, take the lead & make something happen. #MannerMonday http://bit.ly/CancerConvo3

As always;  Thanks for reading!
– Carey Sue

cancierge3


Etc…

Do you know of a high schooler who would benefit from improved social skills, confidence (the right kind of confidence) and better manners?  We have a few options for them:

The Interview Intensive begins later in October and is for students who are in 10-12th grades.  We work on Business Etiquette skills, building resumes, and preparing students for the stressful interview process that is fast approaching.  Whether it be for a scholarship, college, or a job; we help to prepare the students so that when they’re placed in a high-stakes interview, they will have real life experience to draw from, feeling more confident during the process.  Link for more info:  https://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/interview-intensive-10-12th-grades/

As an adult, if you would like to help us during the mock interviews, please let me know, we would love to have you serve as a roll model for these students.  Your services would be needed on Thursday, November 19, from 6:30-8:30pm.  You will get to meet some amazing young people that will give you encouragement for our future!

Passport Program: 
I am still working on the schedule for the Passport Program.  As soon as I get the theater outing secured, that will allow me to plan the rest of the schedule.  In the meantime, if you know your teen will be participating, early registration is available with a $50 savings off tuition:  https://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/passport-high-school-registration/

Word of Mouth is the best compliment you can give us.  Do you know of some who may be interested in our programs, please share our information with them.  Here is the best link to share with them, it covers everything in a nutshell:  https://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/programs/

No comments | leave a comment
Etiquette, Manner Monday, Manners

Manner Monday®: The Cancer Conversation on Channel 4

With October being Breast Cancer Awareness Month; I’ve asked Janet McLain, Co-founder and Guide of Cancierge to share some helpful tips with us about getting The Cancer Conversation started. During the series, Janet is going to share tips on ‘what to say’, ‘advice to those with a loved one or friend touched by cancer’, and ‘actions that help a cancer patient on their journey’.  To learn more about Janet and Dr. Laura Miles, please visit www.Cancierge.org.

Here is the segment we did with Channel 4 to help spread the word:

No comments | leave a comment
Etiquette, Manners, Media

Manner Monday®: The Cancer Conversation – advice to those with a friend touched by cancer.

Thanks for joining us for Part Two of our “Cancer Conversation” series. Click here to catch Part One, ‘What to Say’.

With October being Breast Cancer Awareness Month; I’ve asked Janet McLain, Co-founder and Guide of Cancierge to share some helpful tips with us about getting The Cancer Conversation started. During the series, Janet is going to share tips on ‘what to say’, ‘advice to those with a loved one or friend touched by cancer’, and ‘actions that help a cancer patient on their journey’.  To learn more about Janet and Dr. Laura Miles, please visit www.Cancierge.org.

Here’s Janet with her advice to those with a loved one or friend touched by cancer…

Please, do not ignore them.  Cancer can feel very isolating. The survivor truly wants to feel normal. They want their friends to just be themselves without walking on eggshells, pitying them, fretting, or over-friending. Bottom line…be genuine!

Think before you speak. There are so many ways to ask questions and make statements. Those surviving cancer need your support in maintaining a positive outlook. Educate yourself on your friend’s cancer so you don’t have to ask tedious questions. All comments need to be of a supportive loving POSITIVE nature. Sidebar….we should think before we speak everyday with everyone. Words cannot be taken back and can be very painful.

Try saying something such as:

  • I admire your courage and strength to fight this disease.
  • You are on a very challenging road right now, and you are doing a great job.
  • My prayers and encouragement are with you.
  • You are an inspiration to many others and me.

And most important of all, take the time to just listen. Many times a patient needs to talk.  They need to voice their fear, frustration, and pain to be able to move on to the next phase of recovery with a positive outlook. They don’t need answers; they need to express themselves.

No one would want to believe that their actions or words could cause the cancer patients and immediate caretakers to lose focus on supporting the patient and instead start consoling you. “I was not prepared to see Judy look so thin.” “This is not just about Judy.” “I can’t believe Judy is going to lose those curls.” As a woman who has undergone intense treatment, I received many thoughtless remarks that made me wonder, “Is this really about me?”

I read an article about three months ago written by clinical psychologist, Susan Silk, and author, Barry Goldman, given to me by one of my Cancierge warriors. The basic theory is comfort IN, dump OUT. Brilliant! Draw a circle and place the name of the person having the trauma in the center. Draw another circle around the first one and place the name of the person closest to the trauma such as the husband. Repeat the process as many times as you need until you get to the less intimate friends.

The rules are simple. If you are in the center, you can dump OUT as many things as need to be dumped. Whine, complain, and moan; you get the point. If you are in the second ring, you can dump OUT to the outer circles, but can only comfort IN to the center circle. The rules stay the same as you get to the larger circles. Dump OUT, comfort IN.

When faced with a situation where you are not sure how to react, place yourself in a circle. When it is someone in a smaller circle than yours, give comfort and support, listen, and keep the focus on the person who has earned it.

Next week, we will share actions that can help a cancer patient during their recovery.

Thanks Janet! I love the advice of ‘just listen’ and the circle is genius!  Such great advice.  I think when we’re struggling with seeing our loved one or friend struggle, we are paralyzed with what to say; and by listening, we’re saying we care in the biggest and best way possible.

Do you know someone who would benefit from this post?  If so, please share it with them and encourage them to sign up to receive Manner Monday?  I would appreciate it!  And if you’re new to Manner Monday, I’d love for you to take a minute to learn more about why I started it. You can click here to read my very first post that tells all about it.

Do you have a ‘manner’ or question you would like to see covered in a post?  Feel free to send me your thoughts, I would love to hear from you.

Click to Tweet: At a loss for words about what to say to your friend with Cancer? “Just be there and listen.” #MannerMonday http://bit.ly/CancerConvo2

As always;  Thanks for reading!
– Carey Sue

cancierge-2


 

Etc…

Do you know of a high schooler who would benefit from improved social skills, confidence (the right kind of confidence) and better manners?  We have a few options for them:

The Interview Intensive begins later in October and is for students who are in 10-12th grades.  We work on Business Etiquette skills, building resumes, and preparing students for the stressful interview process that is fast approaching.  Whether it be for a scholarship, college, or a job; we help to prepare the students so that when they’re placed in a high-stakes interview, they will have real life experience to draw from, feeling more confident during the process.  Link for more info:  https://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/interview-intensive-10-12th-grades/

As an adult, if you would like to help us during the mock interviews, please let me know, we would love to have you serve as a roll model for these students.  Your services would be needed on Thursday, November 19, from 6:30-8:30pm.  You will get to meet some amazing young people that will give you encouragement for our future!

Passport Program: 
I am still working on the schedule for the Passport Program.  As soon as I get the theater outing secured, that will allow me to plan the rest of the schedule.  In the meantime, if you know your teen will be participating, early registration is available with a $50 savings off tuition:  https://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/passport-high-school-registration/

Word of Mouth is the best compliment you can give us.  Do you know of some who may be interested in our programs, please share our information with them.  Here is the best link to share with them, it covers everything in a nutshell:  https://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/programs/

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Etiquette, Manner Monday, Manners

High School Programs Begin Soon

I hope this finds you doing well and enjoying this Fall weather.  We are excited about the fast approaching events for the Passport Program (9th-12th grade) and wanted to make sure you had all of the information about the upcoming programs.  If you have already registered, thank you!  If you have yet to register, please check your teen’s calendar and register soon.  And of course, please feel free to forward this email to others who you think may be interested.

– Interview Intensive begins, Thursday, October 29
– Passport Program in January and February

INTERVIEW INTENSIVE:  
The Interview Intensive is a fabulous program that helps to prepare 10-12th grade students for the stressful interview process that is fast approaching. Whether it be for a scholarship, college, or a job; we help to prepare the students so that when they’re placed in a high-stakes interview, they will have real life experience to draw from, feeling more confident during the process.

One of our recent graduates had a great experience with the Interview Intensive, click here to read her story:  http://www.careysuevega.com/senior-spotlight/senior-spotlight-caroline-goodin

  • Class One, Thursday, October 29, 7:00-8:30pm
  • Class Two, Monday, November 2, 7:00-8:30pm
  • Mock Interviews, Thursday, November 19, 7:00-8:30pm

Interview Intensive Registration Link:  https://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/interview-intensive-10-12th-grades/

2016 PASSPORT PROGRAM SCHEDULE:
Thursday, Jan. 14, Welcome Class and Dancing, 7-9pm
Thurs. Jan. 21, UCO, Dinner and Dancing; Challenging foods / Sushi, 7-9pm
Thurs. Feb. 11, UCO, Dancing and refreshments; preparing for the Ball, 7-9pm
Fri., Feb. 19, Lyric Theatre; ‘Mann…and wife’
Fri., Feb. 26, White Tie Ball, Gaillardia, 6:30-10:30pm

Passport Program Registration Link:   https://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/passport-high-school-registration/

Space is limited this year for the both the Interview Intensive and the Passport Program.  If you have not yet already done so, please register soon.

As an adult, if you would like to help us during the mock interviews, please let me know, we would love to have you serve as a roll model for these students.  Your services would be needed on Thursday, November 19, from 6:30-8:30pm.  You will get to meet some amazing young people that will give you encouragement for our future!

Word of Mouth is the best compliment you can give us.  Do you know of some who may be interested in our programs, please share our information with them.  Here is the best link to share with them, it covers everything in a nutshell:  https://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/programs/

Do you need training for your staff or employees? Please email or call. My Fall calendar is almost full; the Holiday’s will be here before you know it and I can work with your staff to prepare them for all of the events that will be filling their calendars so they can represent your company professionally.

Connect Over Coffee?  Do you want to connect over coffee?  Email and Social Media are great, but meeting face-to-face is even better!  Shoot me an email so we can schedule a time to meet!

As always, thanks for reading!
– Carey Sue

www.CareySueVega.com
www.ExpeditionsInEtiquette.com

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Classes

Manner Monday®: The Cancer Conversation – What to Say.

With October being Breast Cancer Awareness Month; I’ve asked Janet McLain, Co-founder and Guide of Cancierge to share some helpful tips with us about getting The Cancer Conversation started. Over the next three weeks, Janet is going to share tips on ‘what to say’, ‘advice to those with a loved one or friend touched by cancer’, and ‘actions that help a cancer patient on their journey’. To learn more about Janet and Dr. Laura Miles, please visit www.Cancierge.org.

Here’s Janet…

First and foremost, people do not intend to hurt or negatively impact someone diagnosed with cancer. They simply do not know what to say, how to say it, or when not to say anything. The following are the top ten most insensitive comments I have witnessed. I am including them to make a point. We need to take the time the THINK first, speak second.

  1. Are you going to lose your hair?
  2. Your hair wasn’t that great anyway.  Look at all the options.
  3. At least they caught it early…
  4. Do you think your hormone therapy or middle age weight gain have anything to do with it?
  5. Are you sure you want to do that treatment?
  6. That is terrible news!
  7. Just let me know what you need.
  8. What stage are you?
  9. The look of pity…I call them head tilters.
  10. Saying nothing at all…avoidance.

I know you look at these comments with disbelief. They occur very frequently. Some of you may be looking at some of these comments and wonder “What’s wrong with that?” Some may be thinking, “I don’t want to say the wrong thing. I will just avoid this situation.” Next week, I’ll share advice to those of you who have a friend or loved one touched by cancer.

Thank you Janet for your words of wisdom! I know they will be helpful to those of us who find ourselves wondering what to say and I look forward to learning more about how we can help our loved ones and friends.

Do you know someone who would benefit from this post?  If so, please share it with them and encourage them to sign up to receive Manner Monday?  I would appreciate it!  And if you’re new to Manner Monday, I’d love for you to take a minute to learn more about why I started it. You can click here to read my very first post that tells all about it.

Do you have a ‘manner’ or question you would like to see covered in a post?  Feel free to send me your thoughts, I would love to hear from you.

Click to Tweet: Don’t let this happen, “I don’t want to say the wrong thing, so I will just avoid the situation.” http://bit.ly/CancerConvo1 #MannerMonday

As always;  Thanks for reading!
– Carey Sue

Cancierge1

Etc…

Do you know of a high schooler who would benefit from improved social skills, confidence (the right kind of confidence) and better manners?  We have a few options for them:

The Interview Intensive begins later in October and is for students who are in 10-12th grades.  We work on Business Etiquette skills, building resumes, and preparing students for the stressful interview process that is fast approaching.  Whether it be for a scholarship, college, or a job; we help to prepare the students so that when they’re placed in a high-stakes interview, they will have real life experience to draw from, feeling more confident during the process.  Link for more info:  https://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/interview-intensive-10-12th-grades/

As an adult, if you would like to help us during the mock interviews, please let me know, we would love to have you serve as a roll model for these students.  Your services would be needed on Thursday, November 19, from 6:30-8:30pm.  You will get to meet some amazing young people that will give you encouragement for our future!

Passport Program: 
I am still working on the schedule for the Passport Program.  As soon as I get the theater outing secured, that will allow me to plan the rest of the schedule.  In the meantime, if you know your teen will be participating, early registration is available with a $50 savings off tuition:  https://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/passport-high-school-registration/

Word of Mouth is the best compliment you can give us.  Do you know of some who may be interested in our programs, please share our information with them.  Here is the best link to share with them, it covers everything in a nutshell:  https://www.expeditionsinetiquette.com/youth/programs/

No comments | leave a comment
Etiquette, Manner Monday, Manners